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Please help me! Is being too nice a good reason to reject someone? [I Need Advice]

I’m a very nice, sweet, good girl. I am sort of a goody two shoes, I tend to have expectations of people being nice and respect me (failed).
He flat out told me that I’m nice, but I’m way too nice. I talked to him earlier tonight and he seemed bored. He says he frankly finds me too agreeable, and also I make him do all the work by planning the day (virtual). He says I’m way too easy and easy is boring. He said, “You’re okay but you’re too nice. You always bug people to “be nice”, you agree with everything people say....sometimes, you don’t even stand up for yourself or have you own opinion. It’s okay to have an OPINION. I wish I didn’t have to drag it out of you. QUIT AGREEING WITH ME! You keep telling people that you’re nice which is creepy. Also you’re not being honest with yourself. You gotta push back a little! I like a girl that’s sweet but also challenges me. I like feisty, strong girls that aren’t afraid to be themselves and speak their minds and to put it bluntly, I can’t see myself with someone like you. No Layla. Besides I see you only as a friend anyways. Frankly I like your best friend because she’s confident, feisty, sassy and being herself, but she has a boyfriend. Plus she’s short.”
See that’s it right there! He likes shirt girls and he’s 6’5 or 6.
I was told I’m too passive aggressive.
SW-User
What he said is true. Perhaps he was an ass in the manner he expressed it i dont know but people usually want to enjoy YOU for you and who you truly are. Being too agreeable and not standing up for yourself can be a bit of a turn off for a lot of people.


The part about him liking your best friend more is just a dick move but and develop your own opinions and passions that you may share with those around you. By the way theres nothing wrong with nice.
SW-User
@AutismGirl18 Just want to add that I get that it maybe scary at first to try and assert yourself. It gets uncomfortable at times even for people that are comfortable in their own skin. Its ok to be scared, just try not to be crippled by it. Be afraid and do what you need to do anyway. Take care.
AutismGirl18 · 18-21, F
@SW-User Yeah fine but I don’t want to start a conflict but I’m not afraid of it. My dads told me to stop worrying about being nice and start standing up for my goddamn self. Nobody is going to stand up for you. You need to do it for yourself. Why do you think we don’t say anything when someone criticizes you? We want to see if you would speak up for yourself. Sometimes you gotta be an asshole or the bad guy to protect yourself.
AutismGirl18 · 18-21, F
Casheyane · F
Okay girl. First, scratch that thought. He has the guts to tell you he likes your best friend. So don't waste your time on him.

But he said something you should think about. By being the way you are now (whatever name you have for it), are you happy? Because if you're only living your life to please people then you're giving up the chance to discover what you could be. What you are meant to be.

So think it. Ponder on it. And become her. She might just surprise you and change your life for the better.

You don't have to be like anyone else. You just have to be the best version of you.
@Casheyane nicely put 👍
Adstar · 56-60, M
Well being passive aggressive is not nice...

If you are a nice girl otherwise remain a nice girl and eventually you will find a guy who appreciates a nice girl.. A lot of guys eventually get stressed out to the max dealing with hard to handle ""strong woman"" and then wish they had a nice girl.

Sadly it takes some guys 10 - 15 years to realize that dealing with crazy woman is just toxic.. But some guys have a bit more wisdom at a younger age and do admire nice girls..

But there is also the problem of nice girls also liking the bad boys.. Seems that a lot of woman are attracted to the thugs jerks and scumbags who treat them like dirt.. A lot of woman are strange that way,, Always chasing guys who are bad for them and later on in life lamenting their lack of "luck" with guys.. When luck had nothing to do with it.. They where attracted to the worst men and so ended up being kicked from this guy to the next guy like a football..
xSiFiGamer2016x · 22-25, M
Well, he's not wrong. You really need to take that advice, otherwise what good would it be for you to be too nice and being taken advantage of? Nothing lasts forever, including a person being nice. Like I said days ago, there'll be a time that you'll snap.
AutismGirl18 · 18-21, F
@xSiFiGamer2016x I don’t understand why guys like mean girls. Or girls that are feisty. My two girl pals are feisty and guys seen to like that.
xSiFiGamer2016x · 22-25, M
@AutismGirl18 That's what some guys like. And because some girls are feisty, it shouldn't imply to you. You can find a guy who's just as nice as you.
Kyle1791 · 31-35, M
You shouldn't let him bother you like that. If he can't see how nice and sweet you are. He doesn't deserve you
@Kyle1791 I agree with you.
It happens to me a lot. Don't worry about it.
AutismGirl18 · 18-21, F
@DaveStevenson I guess people like mean people
@AutismGirl18 Some do tbh.
I like people that are a bit if a challenge.

When you're always agreeable, it puts pressure on the other person - they never know If thats really what you want.

They end up ALWAYS being the deciders, the organisers, the instigators.... It's exhausting.

Relationships are a symbiosis.... It's a matter of finding someone who compliments YOU.

But do be aware that "yes" here is such a thing as too nice.

Amd I tell you this for your own good.

Being so agreeable - one day 30 years from now - ypu will look back and wonder where your life went - becuase you spent it agreeing with others and not deciding any direction of it yourself.

This is how people end up bitter and full of resentment.
And you will blame others for it - when half of it is your fault.... Becuase you were nice, and let them them make all the decisions.

Please consider this aspect.

 
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