Why do some cheaters deny it to the end?
why is it that when a man or a woman cheats, even with all the evidence piled against them, they still deny it?
36-40, F
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MaxPower2013
They cannot reconcile the reality of their behavior with the self-image they have of themselves in their mind that is completely contrary to that behavior.
Having a self-image that matches the reality of one's actions leads to self-awareness and truth.
Having a self-image that matches the reality of one's actions leads to self-awareness and truth.
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darktippedrose · 36-40, F
sexless marriage.
MaxPower2013
That's a problem....not good....why?
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
oh too long to post here lol
jenvice
The ones that lie and deny it just aren't honest. Many pla<x>yers are very honest and will straight up tell you that is part of who they are.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
it will, eventually
jenvice
I believe it will. Take care and have a good night.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
you too :)
nschildress
Three reasons:
1) Cheaters actually believe that the reality they present to people is MORE important than ob<x>jective reality. They don't actually deal with ob<x>jective reality because they won't judge themselves.
2) They tell themselves that it would only hurt you or the relationship more to admit the truth.
3) From a strictly social power standpoint, lying allows them to continue holding the power. They would be giving some up if they admitted cheating.
1) Cheaters actually believe that the reality they present to people is MORE important than ob<x>jective reality. They don't actually deal with ob<x>jective reality because they won't judge themselves.
2) They tell themselves that it would only hurt you or the relationship more to admit the truth.
3) From a strictly social power standpoint, lying allows them to continue holding the power. They would be giving some up if they admitted cheating.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
thanx for your perspective
scratchedxthornxwrists
Shame ba<x>sed personality disorder, e.g. borderline or narcissist. What max power said nailed it.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
oh I wouldn't doubt it. yes hes human. but he also, while he denies most of what he does, theres times when he clearly knows what he's doing, and he doesn't care. the biggest sign for me is that he obsesses about things to the point of neglecting personal relationships. he is very religious, but apparently he forgot that taking care of women and children are part of it. if its not related to billz or food he thinks its too american and that its shallow and fake.
scratchedxthornxwrists
So do you think there is some cultural conflict there? Or just his quirks?
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
i think its mostly HIM
bvincs
you don't need feel cheated, rather dominate those slaves. at least u have to act
bvincs
Most people usually have the tendency to want to take some kind of action right after discovering a cheating partner. It may help for the moment, but because you're in crisis, your judgment can be impaired, so it's wise not to make any big decisions at this time, Rivkin explains. Instead, make the smaller decisions first: Get a therapist, read a book, talk to your support system, do some writing and do some talking with your partner. "You will ultimately have some major decisions to make as to what direction you want your relationship to go, but these decisions will be made with time and clarity,"
bvincs
people deny if
unpleasant
to avoid responsibility seriousness
or to project them good
unpleasant
to avoid responsibility seriousness
or to project them good
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
okay, much more understandable answer
peter43
I think only cheaters can answer that question, but the world of cheaters is lying and cheating, even to themselves, so how can they give an honest answer, when they have no idea of what love, faithful and honesty means?
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
oh that is true!
reba59
Because they can, its pathological. I had one guy deny for a lifetime that he did cheat even after the relationship was decades over and it was safe to admit it.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
WOW. i shouldn't be surprised, really
Rosenau
Because honesty is not one of their core values.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
true!
ikattarri
Um.. its what they do.. lie
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
good point