Am I Normal?

Yes that is normal. Blind faith is actually the abnormal thing here as it believes even when there is no reason to believe. Notice how Jesus didn't ask for blind faith but actually preformed miracles to increase his followers faith. He literally provided evidence. But God should be big enough to provide evidence for each person. But it's rarely and sporadically provided and even then can be down to coincidences or fraud. The fact that no evidence is forthcoming should be an indication that that path is not providing truth because truth will stand on its own. Lies on the other hand requires one to have faith because it has no evidence but instead uses tricksters, lies and excuses to von people into following it.
I remember testing God as a toddler even because my mind is extremely logical as well. And I ask him to turn the light on. He didn't. And if he isn't going to listen to a child looking for evidence he isn't going to listen at all.
On the other hand maybe God finds none of this religious stuff important at all. According to people that have had NDEs the majority say love is the most important thing he is concerned with. And love is inborn. Unlike religion. Cause think of it this way, if God really wanted you to follow the bible you would have been born with biblical knowledge already instead of needing to be indoctrinated with by another person. On the other hand you are born with love. So he must think that is pretty important.

@ChaoticKate Why do you believe in an ancient ethnocentric Middle Eastern Jewish religious fairytale that preaches hate and bigotry and ethnic superiority on almost every page?

I think you're not normal, as most people embedded in a cult as you seem to be (they're all cults) doesn't have doubts and just goes ahead with blind faith, duckspeaking the cult's dogma. You sound like you're actually questioning it. You don't want to — you want to be part of this community. But you're too intelligent to just fall for it blindly, and you haven't found a way to make that questioning intelligence and your desire for faith to coexist in your mind.

I hope you find a path to peace within yourself, whatever form that ends up taking.

People have blind faith because they're told to have blind faith. That's why words like "belief" and "trust" are so important in religion. It eliminates any necessity for evidence, facts and proof. Things that usually go in to sound, rational decision making. That's how you get people to believe what you want them to believe. Sounds like you're taking your own stuff off yourself and relying on some sort of magic wand to make everything ok. Doesn't work like that. You run you.

So my suggestion, even though I'm an atheist, is to try and focus on the lessons the Bible is supposed to be about. Being kind and helpful. Considering others before yourself. Doing the 'right' thing.
When we all do that, irrespective of any religious belief or not, it comes backs to us in a positive way.

be grateful, blind faith leads people to do bad things to themselves and others...questioning is the only way to keep your faith grounded in sanity.

You are far from crazy. It sounds like your critical thinking, intelligent mind is trying to convince you of something you already know. You should listen to your own good sense. Have faith in yourself, your abilities and those you love and trust in your life.

Seems you might be normal.
Have you tried talking to God about this? hes. much more likely to give you solid advice than all of us.

One can't make oneself believe. One can pretend to believe, but that would be lying. Stay true to yourself, and let the cards fall where they may...

Completely normal, and it's not necessarily "blind" faith, you just have to know it in your heart

Faith is trusting God...

[quote]""no matter what i do nothing changes""[/quote]

What are the things you expect will or would change?