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Am I Normal?

How am I to be expected to just have blind faith? I understand the need for it..but how do people make it seem so easy to do? I feel like im losing a battle within myself, struggling to force myself to believe with a result of pushing it away even more. im trying do do all of the things im supposed to, I go to church, I do my bible study, I even help create lesson plans. I just dont know what to do. I do want to have faith, and I want to be at a healthy place in my religion but it seems that no matter what I do nothing changes and I dont have anyone to talk to about it. am I just crazy or is this part of it?
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Yes that is normal. Blind faith is actually the abnormal thing here as it believes even when there is no reason to believe. Notice how Jesus didn't ask for blind faith but actually preformed miracles to increase his followers faith. He literally provided evidence. But God should be big enough to provide evidence for each person. But it's rarely and sporadically provided and even then can be down to coincidences or fraud. The fact that no evidence is forthcoming should be an indication that that path is not providing truth because truth will stand on its own. Lies on the other hand requires one to have faith because it has no evidence but instead uses tricksters, lies and excuses to von people into following it.
I remember testing God as a toddler even because my mind is extremely logical as well. And I ask him to turn the light on. He didn't. And if he isn't going to listen to a child looking for evidence he isn't going to listen at all.
On the other hand maybe God finds none of this religious stuff important at all. According to people that have had NDEs the majority say love is the most important thing he is concerned with. And love is inborn. Unlike religion. Cause think of it this way, if God really wanted you to follow the bible you would have been born with biblical knowledge already instead of needing to be indoctrinated with by another person. On the other hand you are born with love. So he must think that is pretty important.
ChaoticKate · 18-21, F
@canusernamebemyusername interesting. ive never heard anyone else think this way.
@ChaoticKate Sorry of it sounded weird. Basically just love. Love works for believers or non-believers both. Even the bible makes it the greatest commandment. Just be a good person as opposed to someone that is just trying to win brownie points with God. If you love those around you those brownie points will automatically accumulate.
Diotrephes · 70-79, M
@canusernamebemyusername
Really?
https://thebricktestament.com/the_law/racial%20tolerance/dt23_03a.html