If the question was, 'Oh my God, what have you done to my new sheets, it looks like an ape slept in them'?

@GJOFJ3 A fantastic retort Sir.

@Starcrossed The hair we can live with, it is the other....er...Unpleasantness.

@hunkalove Indeed Sir, I am bang to rights.

@redredred Indded they are my dear fellow but they do not tend to share our sleeping arrangements.

I’ll bet a few chimps would if they could. Other great apes aren’t stupid and a nice, comfy warm bed would probably appeal to them. @AndysLoft

I am sure they would old chap.

@Pretzel Good idea. I will give that a try and see if my wife will let me drink again.

@Tres13 Indeed Sir, that would be quite efficacious.

@uncalled4 I think that may have been one of the problems.