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Am I stupid?

My husband lost his credit card and insisted I had to call and pretend to be him and request they send him a new one. It’s his account, and a while back he ordered a card for me too.

Now, I’ve never lost a credit card or had one stolen. I’ve never had any problems whatsoever and I didn’t even know our cards were the same until that day. I didn’t want to pretend to be him, but he got mad so I just did it to make him leave me alone.

I called, and it was obvious I wasn’t a man. The woman on the like was like, “this is _?”….”ok _” haha. Kind of like, “sure, if you say so”

I said the card was lost and a requested a new one. I mean, that’s what happened.

Soooooo, then my card got cancelled too and now we’re waiting on replacements. My husband keeps going on and on about how I can’t even use any common sense and I shouldn’t have told them it was lost. I should’ve just requested a new one. I know that now obviously, but I had no way of knowing they’d cancel mine because he lost his.

So, am I dumb as a box of rocks for not realizing this?

I’m just tired of hearing my husband tearing me down about it and it’s really got me feeling like I’m just stupid and incompetent.

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Bexsy

He should have done himself if he knows so much about what you should've said.

ABCDEF7 · M

If the card is actually lost, it needs to be cancelled, otherwise some wrong person getting it can misuse it. By not cancelling the old cards, you risk for the misuse of it, and being billed wrongly. It's safe to get it cancelled if it is actually lost.

As you said, "I didn’t even know our cards were the same until that day". If the cards were same, both needs to be cancelled due to the above reasons. I don't understand why your husband didn't want to disclose that he lost the card. It's not a crime.

revenant · F

Why didn't he do it himself ?

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@revenant “too busy”

revenant · F

@whisperingwillow 🤔

Docdon23 · M

Reading this, sounds like he is blaming you for his own incompetence...defelcting, projecting. He is the idiot who lost the card and would not tell them...you did nothing wrong here.

serendipitydoodah · 46-50, F

@Docdon23 Agreed
I was going to say something along these lines.
He hates the idea of others knowing he lost it.

Ynotisay · M

@Docdon23 Yeah. I don't get this one in any way. Asking your wife to call? Damn dude. Get your shit together.

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@Docdon23 That’s a good point. Thank you

Piper · 61-69, F

As others have pointed out, you're definitely not the stupid one in this scenario. I'm pretty sure there are no "demerits" given for losing a card, and if your husband had some other story...he obviously should have called them himself. Good grief. 😑

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@Piper Thank you

Convivial · 26-30, F

Nope, you're not... He is

morrgin · F

I was going to post a topic that you basically covered here with yours.
I hate it when my husband wants me to do something that he is fully capable and able to do himself and then he gets really mad and throws tantrums when I dont want to do it or the results after I finally do it he doesnt like and then he gets angry.

View 4 more replies »

DrWatson · 70-79, M

@whisperingwillow I work full time, our daughter is grown, and my wife is at home alone.

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@DrWatson Ah. Does she struggle with anxiety?

DrWatson · 70-79, M

@whisperingwillow In general, she does not.

She says I am more tactful than she is when talking to others.

luckranger71 · 51-55, M

I’m lost as to why this would be your fault at all. I’m sorry but he sounds like a borderline personality.

Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F

Your husband is an idiot. All of this could have been taken care of online.

Sweetthing · F

Don’t set yourself up to give him the opportunity to tear you down. Make him responsible for taking care of his own stuff. And I am pretty sure if you had just requested a new one they would ask for the reason in any case. You could have just said it was damaged but in this case you would still be liable if somebody else used it because you didn’t report as lost.

Scribbles · 36-40, F

You're not dumb. You did it properly, and it was nice of you to do it for him... and your husband is being fussy and a dick in response.

If it's lost they need to know so it can be canceled, so no one uses it. If someone else does use your card somehow then you got to deal with being on hold for hours to dispute charges that you didn't make because of a stolen card. It's a mess, believe me. Much easier to just spend an hour switching any billing over to the new card I can see how his response would be frustrating. I'd be a little exasperated too.

LookingIn · M

Nope.
His mistake which he’s not willing to deal with himself.
Feels like he’s hiding something.

OverTheHill · 56-60, M

He should have called instead of making you do it. He's the dummy.

Shaveit · 61-69, M

Something seems fishy on his part…..

OogieBoogie · F

So hes complaining about how you did something he was supposed to do ?

Fuck that. Id say "your welcome " and walk off.

Ynotisay · M

Uh...what? He asked you to call? And then got fired up because of what you said?
I don't know your husband, and my apologies if this is offensive, but I think he needs to man up a little bit and handle his own shit. Can't wrap my head around this one.

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@Ynotisay I often have a hard time wrapping my head around him and I’ve been with him 11 years

Neoerectus · M

He is a user it sounds.

Is he also an abuser?...
If so, leave while still young. It will only get worse.

Neighbor next door hung on for 35+ years before leaving. She is very slowly coming back to some sense of normality.

Thandeka · 31-35, F

If he'd done the right thing and did the calling himself this whole mess could have been avoided. He probably feels guilty and is projecting his feelings on you. Tell him that.

TheOrionbeltseeker · 36-40, M

You are not stupid. You were unaware of the plan of your husband. Your husband needs Team leadership course if he wants to be your leader rather than a partner.

496sbc · 36-40, M

So wait ur the dumb one and he lost the card. What a shitbird. He is no man but a coward. He lost he fuckin thing let him call but he gets mad at u wow.

Philasefer · M

Sorry you had to go through that. You are not stupid to do that. People makes mistakes and if he truly loves you he should understand

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@Philasefer Thank you

Jonjdw · 46-50, M

Sorry. Not good. He should of done it himself. Not sure outcome with the cards would of been different.

Quimliqer · 70-79, M

This definitely isn’t fair to you, and how does someone lose a credit card?
Seems suspicious!!

GreenGoddess · F

Oh gross. Some guys are like this 🙄 they're so lazy they make you do everything for them 🤦‍♀️

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@GreenGoddess He’s definitely not lazy. Overly ambitious actually. But spoiled, definitely

JustEd · 41-45, M

You had to tell them it was lost. If not someone could still have used if they found it.

Daveuk · 56-60, M

He sounds the dump one ..he not man enough to ring himself😀

MrEagle · 41-45, M

No. Your husband a doofus. He could have handled that himself.

littlepuppywantanewlife · 31-35, M

You should told him on first hand about it. Anyways you are not stupid.

SW-User

Tell him next time he can do it himself

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@SW-User I told him something along those lines

Gangstress · 41-45, F

Tbf he shouldve done it himself !

HootyTheNightOwl

Since he knows so much about what you should have said... Maybe he should have done it himself to guarantee that they only knew what he wanted them to know???

As for the husband himself... Is this really the guy that you want to spend the rest of your life with???

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@HootyTheNightOwl Been together 11 years. He had a huge personality shift a few years ago. Almost divorced him over the next couple years. He’s been working hard and been getting better over time. Very, very hard period to get through though. It’s a lot of work

jjoe01

He must be a Tennessean

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@jjoe01 I’m scratching my head at this one…..But, nope

Adamski24 · 41-45, M

No you're not stupid, as it sounds like it's a joint account you could of said my fuckwit of a husband as misplaced his card can you send out a new one please.
Of course they would freeze/cancel yours too as it's for the same account.
Banks wont just send a new card without reason

OogieBoogie · F

Hang on a tick🤔 ....whos the stupid and incompetent git who lost their card in the first place?🤣

DrWatson · 70-79, M

I think he is being unfair, asking you to do what he should have done and then criticizing you for not doing it the way he would have done it.

Besides, they would have asked for the reason you needed a new card.

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@DrWatson Thank you

SW-User

No you're not stupid. Just punch him in the throat.

Khenpal1 · M

🥳 you both are morons

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@Khenpal1 Well we do put up with each other 😂

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whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

@MsMiley Thank you

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