Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

How do I make myself seem interesting, if I join a dating site?

Since being single for a year, and a few years before the divorce, I lost hope and became a recluse...more like a semi-recluse because I had to shop for food, and go to medical appointments.

This last year, losing so much in my life, I was severely depressed, and wanted to be alone, despite feeling very lonely. So if I want to start dating now (and I'm still reluctant and unsure that I do), how do I make myself worth knowing when I've been living like a hermit for a while?

I want to be authentic, but I don't think "older reclusive female, suffering from depression, but would like to meet friends for shared interests," is going to cut it. Oh yeah, last date was more than 27-years ago. 😏
Top | New | Old
Carissimi, I had a very similar situation except I am widower instead of divorce and became reclusive,and got lonely. Well, the dating site can work wonders and you should get out there and try dating. I started dating thru Our Time.com, only really comfortable there since I want my own age group, I am 58 and prefer ladies around 60-62 for dating. First thing, there are thousands of people on that site that are not right for you! You need to just be yourself on your profile,tell what you enjoy if you enjoy watching Netflix (very popular with online dating people), if you like to cook,or not, just be honest and use a fairly recent photo, don't post too many photos. The hard part, patience, days will go by and you will see nobody that is even close to what you are looking for,then all of a sudden, they show up and you click! Also, my first big mistake was I found a woman that lived 5 hours away from me, and I tried dating her because, I was super attracted to her, it ended badly. I have been out with a total of 4 ladies all from that site since December of last year,it took me exactly one year and one month from my wife's death to determine that I was ready for dating, one ended badly,one was a mismatch,one was very nice but decided dating and relationship was too much, and the one I am seeing now, is the best and really seems to be a relationship that is gonna last.
elyay2001 · 46-50, M
You should find a friend to help you write it. An outside perspective makes that task much easier.
akindheart · 61-69, F
you have a lot to offer. be genuine and true. There is someone for everybody.
firefall · 61-69, M
Brush up on popular TV series & current movies (to give adequate small talk), beyond that be open but not fulsome ... list your interests, state what you're looking for: outright dishonesty doesnt pay, but framing things in a gentle and appealing fashion, shading, without being brutally frank, seems both acceptable and successful as an approach.

"Older female, somewhat shy, but wanting friends to discuss archery, bridge and socialism" is more likely to find someone on your wavelength without putting people off.

( of course, "Older woman looking for young men to plundrt & take advantage of" probably gets you a lot of results too, but not so likely to yield what you want 😀)
JakeShade · 61-69, M
Well, I have been on dating sites some and can say that you don't need much to get *attention*... your pic here is plenty to get attention, though you may not want (only) the kind of attention that comes when men see a "pretty face".

I tried a couple of sites that I thought fit my demographic/interest but discovered how wrong I was. I settled in on "Green Singles" which happens to be another face for "Spiritual Singles" as well. You may find (from what I see of your readings of Rumi, Krishnamurti, and Thich Nat Hahn) a good fit as well.

Maybe you need a dating agent? I volunteer...

My last dating period was roughly 24 years ago, so I know the challenge!

I too have been depressed and somewhat reclusive... I didn't put that in my profile, but *do* share it (gently) with anyone who begins to connect, and unsurprisingly most if not all of them have had their own bouts with such things... the question is whether their version and mine are compatible.

I've found that by allowing myself to "meet" and get to know women far enough from my geographic that I'm not going to meet them casually or easily that I am learning my own interests and nature a little... enough to start dating "locally" (if carefully).
HeavenBesideYou · 56-60, F
My advice to you is to stay away from the free dating sites. If you are wanting to try it, go with a paid site. My stint on a free site was short, but memorable. I'll never do it again.

As for your profile, be honest. Post current pictures and tell a little about yourself, but not too much. You want them to want to know more about you.

Good luck with it Darlin!!
GlassDog · 46-50, M
I think it's difficult because you'd be surprised (or maybe not) about how men may interpret things very differently to how you'd want them to. I'm not decrying dating sites but if you're after shared interests, you could join a club or society of your interest and see what comes from that.
Carissimi · F
@akindheart: I'm not expecting to find the love of my life, I already found that, and lost it, but I would like companionship and activity partners to play with. 😉 Meaning badminton, bicycling, hiking etc.
Carissimi · F
@glassdog: I know. I don't think much of dating sites either, but sometimes I'm tempted when I feel like a game of badminton or similar, and don't have anyone to play with. 🙁
Goralski · 56-60, M
Doesn't matter what you write guys are visual
SW-User
Carissimi - The best thing is if you present yourself as yourself.
You're a terrific person: don't forget that.
SweetDreamsRubi · 31-35, F
maybe put stuff that would interest you.. Things you've done and want to again..
fckkyoulucy · 36-40, F
Keep it authentic! You are plenty interesting just as you are 💚
supersnipe · 61-69, M
Talk about your current interests...and maybe develop some new ones. And as for that comment about 'it doesn't matter what you write', believe me it does. Any junior-school level spelling mistakes like 'careing' will result in people ignoring you. Fortunately, you write well!
YoMomma ·
Idk that might actually work.. I always find that telling people the worst things first thing.. Saves time latter.. So you don't have to deal with people who won't accept you as you are.. But that's me..

Idk
Carissimi · F
@Sanachie: Thanks. Your advice is helpful.

My condolences on the loss of your wife. I'm happy that you have found someone you like.
Hdryder555 · 61-69, M
Honestly! Say you are recently divorced and you are ready to date again. Trust me that will make you very interesting.
Carissimi · F
@firefall:
Older woman looking for young men to plundrt & take advantage of"
Lol 😆
Carissimi · F
@Mahjack, agree. I won't mention depression or anything negative.
Carissimi · F
Okay, well that is quick and simple. No dating. Lol
GJOFJ3 · 61-69, M
Take a chance. You can't learn to swim without getting wet. I am sure you can do this
Enchanted · 56-60, F
Keep it simple and sweet..add your good qualities and a cute pic ;)
akindheart · 61-69, F
Sending private message to you tomorrow🙂
Goralski · 56-60, M
Kidding. ....go have some fun seems you deserve it
fddlpej · 61-69, M
I see you like to ride bikes. Go ahead and join a biking club or group. Something you would have in common. And exercise is good to fight depression it's a win win.
Nyloncapes · 61-69, M
Tell the truth about yourself and also your hobbies interests and what you like if you lie you always get found out in the end if they are really interested in you they will make second date always be honest
Mahjack · 31-35, M
Don't say anything negative about yourself. People won't bother. Describe yourself in a positive / funny way but don't lie. I assure you, you will attract a lot of men.

Don't talk about depression, don't mention it at all. They will think you're crazy.
Carissimi · F
@Nylon: I had no intention of lying about myself. If I had to do that, I wouldn't bother dating anyone.
Nyloncapes · 61-69, M
Sorry if I upset you

 
Post Comment