Why do women on dating sites not even reply in messages

@chris62ca: Yeah, no way I'd do that. If I'm messaging it's cause there's something specific about your profile that I'm liking, interested in, commenting about. Can't copy paste that. Unless all you're saying is "I like your pictures" or "you're pretty". That's very generic. But commenting about a specific thing said in the middle of the profile, I would think shows you cared about what she wrote so you're not just trolling for anyone.

@convertedshell: One complaint women have is that they feel that men do not take the time to read their profile.

@chris62ca: I guess that's what gets me a little confused. I understand that complaint. It's why I figured talking about something in their profile I liked would show I cared about reading about her and her thoughts.

@AiramNude: I guess maybe you're right, but how do you expect to find someone fun to hang out with and maybe fine a connection if you don't just have conversation. Isn't that the point?

Physical appearance is also an important factor in selecting a "life long" mate

@AiramNude: Right, I understand that. It's a real thing, I don't blame anyone for that. It's just sad that no simple reply of saying "thanks" or something. It shows appreciation and kind of says "I'm not interested" as well cause there's no conversation there. I get that.

@convertedshell: No, you certainly don't. I've run into that myself. Every time someone wrote me who I didn't like, I at least had the decency to acknowledge them and write them back. I think that's awful. I'm done with that sort of thing.

@GraceFromEP: Well, I thank you, Grace. From the bottom of my heart. It's to have some responses. I thank you for responding here too. Thinking of those messages makes me see myself in a room with women and guys all around and I say something and the women just keep walking by like I said nothing. Kind of sad really. lol

@convertedshell: I know. Been there, done that. It's disheartening. People are rude. People could at least respond. I hope it gets better for you.

@convertedshell: You just have to weed them out. It is all a numbers game, just like sales.

@chris62ca: Yeah, I'm trying. You know, it would be great if there was a realestate agent for dating.

@samanthabelle More like 95% are bots or paid staff on a lot of sites. I always read the Terms of Service now before I even join a site for free. If they use Love Stars, or any other term for profiles that are bots or paid actors, I skip those sites entirely. It's impossible to determine exactly how many actual matches are on the sites who use fake profiles, so I won't waste my time on them.

@convertedshell: Believe it or not, that was the first time I ever asked someone in person who I thought was cute if they were seeing anyone. On the one hand, it seemed polite to do. But on the other it seems creepy to me. I didn't see a ring on her hand so I figured it was her way of saying no thank you. I mean it's her job. I totally understand. I'd hate getting hit on at work. It's just so hard to figure out what the right thing to do is.

@convertedshell:
better to meet women in other venues. Perhaps take a class, or have friends or relatives set you up with someone. Waitresses get hit on all the time.

@ColleenOhara: I know, that's why I was feeling really nervous doing it. It's why I didn't want to but I figured if my friend who is a married woman said it would help me start to feel better, I'd try it. I've tried the setup thing. Got some friends knowing I'd love to meet some people they think might match up with me. Infact doing that I've got my first friend outside of work here. I liked her but she wanted just friends so I was okay with that. Still gave her the Oakly sunglasses I had planned to buy for her birthday. I loved the look on her face when I ask "where these the ones you liked?" She couldn't say yes cause of the price but I didn't care. She went through a divorce as well and I wanted to get her something she enjoyed. Nothing expected in return. A gift from a friend. Baked her a birthday cake as well cause she always baked her own before.

@ColleenOhara: Yeah, but introverts watch and sometimes grow up having a hard time feeling comfortable talking to people they don't know in public. That's me. I feel like I'm the nicest person in the world. I volunteered to take my ex wife's debt on so she'd be debt free in the divorce and when she didn't want to take the car cause she didn't have a license I picked her up from her place and drove her to work for a year after. I don't try to be abrasive toward anyone.

@convertedshell:
Don't give up. I am sure you will find someone out there. Some women take advantage of men, who are too nice. Good luck guy.

@ColleenOhara: Thank you. I won't give up, but it's just kind of hard sometimes. Honestly, I never thought the phrase nice guys finish last was anything but a phrase, but I have come to realize it's kind of really a thing.

@justmerae: Sounds like a good plan to me. I don't think I'm shallow either, but that doesn't mean looking is a waste of time. I feel complete in my life mostly except a love, a best friend, a companion. My hope won't fault on that. :)

@convertedshell: I just didn't like it.
It turned me off in so many ways.
Perhaps these women had the same experiences and just abandoned the profile?

@justmerae: That's entirely possible. But some of them show as online when I messaged them. It is what it is though. I shall try still.

@convertedshell: maybe try a little younger age bracket I don't know.

@Daisy47: Well, I'm already looking around from about 30 to 42. I wouldn't want to go younger because of emotional and life experience. It's just harder to find someone in a lower age bracket that would really be looking for what I am I think. I appreciate you trying to help, Daisy. I like coming here though because of all the points of view and the good chat. :)

@Daisy47: Like I just found a 26 year old that is only looking for someone that makes 50k or more a year from what she selected. I'm not saying that's bad of her, but I don't understand how the amount of money you make has anything to do with the compatibility of one persons personality with your own.

@chris62ca: Yeah, I'm trying. I'm going out sometimes and trying to get better at it.

@convertedshell: Don't use just one site either.

@chris62ca: Yeah, I've got an eharmony account as well. Just have even less responses on that one cause you gotta pay money to chat. At least with match I can pay a bit more and anyone I message can message me back for free.

@Fussybear: That's the thing, I don't know they're like that till I try to message just to say, hey, I loved that picture or I really agree with your thoughts on honesty or whatever her statement is.

@samanthabelle: Yup. Glad I wasn't on there. I don't want to break up a relationship. I want to start one. lol

@convertedshell: True.

@chris62ca: True!

@chris62ca: Well, I agree there. Same with the guys. It's why I try to look at profiles in detail and see what ideas the women are expressing they are looking for and who they are. If you have just one sentence, I can't tell anything from that, so I generally won't try to start conversation.

@ToothyCarnivine: Lol, no I'm messaging people around my age. I'm 39 so I'm messaging women in their 30's. I'm not trying to hook up with people not in my age group even. They're all just nice comments about things. It's not like I'm asking for a nude picture or something.

@ToothyCarnivine: And besides, I'm 39. I'm not looking for a hot body. I want to find someone at least close to my age to have similar interests, life experience, people that enjoy 80s and 90s music. Not women that are like, "who's smashing pumpkins".

@chris62ca: Well that's not all I'm doing. It's not like I'm hitting on them from their picture. I'm an honest person. If I like how your smile really looks on you, I'm going to say it. But I get your point. Can't expect those ones to respond. I'm sure they get lots.