Is it normal to struggle with a healthy relationship when all you know are unhealthy ones?

My wife and I are both broken people; sadly we have both broken other people, one another, and have been the victims of it from our past partners.

It has been my own experience that if you are used to being treated a certain way that you will gravitate to the personality type you know best in a partner. The abused, myself included, prefer to be with partners who are a little rough around the edges; partners who are nice all the time tend to make people like us anxious because we aren't used to things like being complimented or having people "do all the right things" for us.

Both my wife and I agree that you could have everything you ever wanted in one person, but sooner or later you will get bored ;)

what you are feeling and doing is sort of understandable.
but you have to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him until he gives you reason not to.....take a chance he may just be as good as you think and hope he is....put yourself out there - the rewards will be worth it. - my 2c finished!

After being abused it is extremely hard to trust again. After my divorce I tried to date, and I found something wrong with every man I met. I was a one date wonder. It took me a long time, but eventually I realized that I had been too hurt to recover completely.

You might have a better chance than I. Try this: every single day find something about your new SO for which you are grateful and write it down. Eventually you will be able to read it like a diary, and the proof you seem to need will be there.

I have heard about these struggles as well. I have only half been through them myself

How does he respond to your non relationship fears ? (Spiders, snakes ...)