Is it normal to struggle with a healthy relationship when all you know are unhealthy ones?

For the first time in my life I am in a healthy relationship with someone who respects me, and wants to take things slow to build something that lasts.

I am used to being in relationships that were rushed, abusive, and unhealthy. I have been cheated on and used.

This guy though, is awesome, and has done nothing to make me doubt him or his intentions and yet I keep looking for signs in his words or actions because I feel like it is bound to happen. I don’t let it show because I know that is crazy enough to push anyone away but inside I am so anxious about it.

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chaoticdreams · 46-50, M

My wife and I are both broken people; sadly we have both broken other people, one another, and have been the victims of it from our past partners.

It has been my own experience that if you are used to being treated a certain way that you will gravitate to the personality type you know best in a partner. The abused, myself included, prefer to be with partners who are a little rough around the edges; partners who are nice all the time tend to make people like us anxious because we aren't used to things like being complimented or having people "do all the right things" for us.

Both my wife and I agree that you could have everything you ever wanted in one person, but sooner or later you will get bored ;)