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AshezNZ · 31-35, F
People have to want to change themselves in order for anything to happen even if we as partners are only looking out for their best interest at heart as hard as it may be sometimes it's easier just to move on
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
You mentioned drinking and that is serious. Don't count on him changing. Addictions are seriously troubling and you've probably only seen the tip of an iceberg. Also, giving you less affection than you need is also a serious problem which is unlikely to improve no matter what he says. I would ditch him and find someone better.
Tukudo · 41-45, M
Don't try to change anyone..just decide is he enough for you..otherwise move on..!
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
What did you decide?
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Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Misskc23 have things improved?
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@Misskc23 that's lovely to hear glad to hear it x
RebeccaJP · 36-40, F
It sounds like you’re in a similar position to me. However, my boyfriend completely dismisses any problems I have in the relationship because he doesn’t see them as a problem. I think life is too short to be with someone who isn’t meeting your needs. We deserve happiness and the relationship we want, and if that’s not your current relationship, I think it’s best to end it. That’s what I’m doing.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
What you see is what you get. If you are referring to drinking, drug addiction, gambling or illegal activities...run!
It sounds like he is doing just enough to convince you he wants to change, but not enough to actually change.
Two years is a long time. You know him by now. He is what he is.
It sounds like he is doing just enough to convince you he wants to change, but not enough to actually change.
Two years is a long time. You know him by now. He is what he is.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@Misskc23 Yes, it definitely should be a two-way street which involves mutual reciprocation that, ideally, is based on desire rather than mandate.
You say, you have catered to him more. Does he agree? It sounds like you are keeping score which is always a sign that communication is lacking. Both of you should reciprocate, both of you should be accepting, and you both should adjust. If it's a matter of keeping an even score though, it is probably best for each of you to move on.
You say, you have catered to him more. Does he agree? It sounds like you are keeping score which is always a sign that communication is lacking. Both of you should reciprocate, both of you should be accepting, and you both should adjust. If it's a matter of keeping an even score though, it is probably best for each of you to move on.
Misskc23 · 31-35, F
@MarkPaul Well the best way to put it is I show my affection fairly well. I am not clingy but I think I am coming to a point where I am getting somewhat frustrated. I have voiced these concerns multiple times...and like all those times, he has agreed with me and has vowed that "it will change" but I've come to a point that I am counting days (without him knowing) hoping that things do change but it has not. Its a vicious cycle of the same thing over and over again. Dont get me wrong, the relationship is not bad. It really isnt. But there are needs that are not being met.
Prisoner69 · 26-30, M
Strawberry9999 · 31-35, F
You should sit him down and ask him where he wants this relationship to go
Strawberry9999 · 31-35, F
Do you see yourself still being happy in a few years if nothing has changed? @Misskc23
Misskc23 · 31-35, F
@Strawberry9999 i honestly dont know. maybe but i dont know if I could envision that
Strawberry9999 · 31-35, F
Then I think you should move on. If he’s not giving you the love you need, you should find someone that will. I think you will feel so much better💕@Misskc23
SW-User
You need this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Too-Good-Leave-Bad-Stay/dp/0718141776
https://www.amazon.com/Too-Good-Leave-Bad-Stay/dp/0718141776
JP1119 · 36-40, M
Update? What did you do? And how is it working out for you?
Misskc23 · 31-35, F
@JP1119 well part of the problem is drinking and things have gotten better. Although there are other things that have not changed. I feel like there is this constant problem between him and I regarding affection. Not everyone woman wants affection and I understand that. I told him that I understand he loves me but he needs to communicate it in the form I perceive it as love and up to this day. It feels like pulling teeth and it's very frustrating. sometimes I wonder whether I am settling or just impatient
I think you need to end it.