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Primnproper · 56-60, F
My cure is, I have faith in myself as a partner, I believe in my partner having his own space to do his own thing with friends or as in his hobby, I don't expect attention from him 24/7 when he's not working...I have faith in our relationship that if yes not happy he knows he can approach me without me going off on one to discuss..and the doors always open for him to leave if he wants to..
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Primnproper · 56-60, F
@ZenKitzune no one's mind that has a bad past is easy to live with, its about finding a way to live alongside of that past..
ZenKitzune · F
@Primnproper That is what I am attempting to do.
Primnproper · 56-60, F
@ZenKitzune give it time there is no limit to how long it takes, keep reaffirming good memories when the triggers happen and spark the negative activity, eventually it will lessen..
ZenKitzune · F
@Stark Thanks. I have been working through a whole lot of stuff recently, this is just the next thing on my list ( a very long list!) and perhaps one of the things I have avoided the most. The roots of this one are deep and paved with a lot of things I'd rather forget..I know however, that I need to delve into them to dig them out.
Winenot · 51-55, F
Prom&proper said it best. Old wounds are understandable but you have to make a conscience effort to put the past behind you, don’t let it hurt you anymore. (And yes this comes with excruciating experience.)
What makes me secure in my relationship (and after 15 years together, we still gross out our kids with our inability to keep our hands off one another) is knowing I will do anything to make my husband happy and content and he will do the same for me. Don’t get me wrong, I don't exist for him, Im independent, have my own interests & hobbies, all that. The same with him but I have him at the forefront of my mind and he does the same for me. When you treat someone that good and you’re treated that well, you don’t want to jeopardize it. A pretty face can walk by, we’re not blind, we notice but once they walk past. They’re not given another thought. Good luck to you. Jealousy can be cured when you both feel safe in your relationship.
What makes me secure in my relationship (and after 15 years together, we still gross out our kids with our inability to keep our hands off one another) is knowing I will do anything to make my husband happy and content and he will do the same for me. Don’t get me wrong, I don't exist for him, Im independent, have my own interests & hobbies, all that. The same with him but I have him at the forefront of my mind and he does the same for me. When you treat someone that good and you’re treated that well, you don’t want to jeopardize it. A pretty face can walk by, we’re not blind, we notice but once they walk past. They’re not given another thought. Good luck to you. Jealousy can be cured when you both feel safe in your relationship.
ZenKitzune · F
@Winenot like I said to prim, it's not a case of purposely holding onto the past at all, these are buried memories of past events that I don't have access to in order to address.
Winenot · 51-55, F
@ZenKitzune I did see that, didn’t realize they were buried memories. In that case, see a professional so you can access, address and move forward. If they were impacting you in any other way besides jealousy, you would try to deal with them right? Take care of yourself.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
ZenKitzune · F
@cherokeepatti Even after being with someone like that, the feeling can recur around innocuous events. It can be a difficult thing to fix.
summersong · F
ZenKitzune · F
@summersong Indeed
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ZenKitzune · F
@Camila I only wish it was that simple, I have buried past traumas and emotions quite deep to protect myself in the past. Now they are hard to reach in order to address.
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ZenKitzune · F
@Pitchblue I think you need to tackle the fear behind the emotion first, feelings aren't like light switches lol
@ZenKitzune It might take you longer to get over this than me but ultimately you will decide you're over it, why not do that right now. F it, I'm done with that.
ZenKitzune · F
@Pitchblue because it's something that still comes up, something that was born from a very traumatic experience...it's buried pretty deep in the wreckage. Good for you though.
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ZenKitzune · F
Gingerbreadspice · F
SW-User
Just don't act on those feelings. It gets easier the more you don't.
smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F
Getting a new boyfriend or girlfriend
ZenKitzune · F
@smileylovesgaming hm that only works if it is the fault of the current bf or gf..not if its a personal issue.
Peekaboo20 · 26-30, F
Finding your own partner.
ZenKitzune · F
@Peekaboo20 hmm check!
coolboy86 · 36-40, M
getting some action yourself
Probably revenge
apathy
SW-User
🍆
InOtterWords · F