Why am I often told that I'm wrong?

My partner frequently makes me feel that I'm always doing something wrong. It's almost like a punishment and I start to question myself that why is nothing I do ever right? Or why is nothing I do ever right for him? Even the smallest thing, he will make a fuss over it or make me feel bad. I wonder if something is really wrong with me? I feel hurt when he treats me badly but I also feel bad for not being the person he expects me to be...

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jessss · 31-35, F

He sounds like a douchebag. Dump him

Fernie · F

Letting this guy treat you like this then thinking it's possibly YOUR fault...that there's something wrong with YOU is classic victim BS... there is something wrong with HIM and anyone who treats another person the way you describe. He is an abuser and you have low enough self esteem to ALLOW it to continue because you somehow think you deserve it...it's the same thing women say and do when they are with idiots who hit them. Grow some ovaries and get the hell away from him. Don't stay and complain...we teach people how to treat us and you have given him permission to treat you this way.

Serenitree · F

Stop giving your consent.

The queue you waited in for so long, he knew you'd wait. Next time, if he isn't there at an agreed upon time, you wait 10 minutes, then you go home, have something to eat and go to bed.

He needs to know that you aren't willing to be his doormat. If he does something like criticizing how you carry the cutlery, put it back, sit down and say show me how you would do it.

He will either smarten up or get worse. If he gets worse, it's time to leave, because he will eventually get physically abusive.

justanothername · 51-55, M

There's nothing wrong with you, it probably has more to to with your partner needing to put you down so that he can feel better about himself. He may not be aware that he makes you feel the way you do when he says the things he says.
You should tell him because he won't be able to work it out himself.

UndeadPrivateer · 31-35, M

It's hard to say without a full picture of the relationship, but that sounds like highly abusive behavior.

justacloudaway · F

@UndeadPrivateer Another example... it takes an hour to queue for a famous restaurant. I was there earlier than he is... I queued most of the hour and he only came for 10 mins into the queue and he started making a big fuss.

UndeadPrivateer · 31-35, M

@justacloudaway He sounds at the very least intensely immature, combined with the other example you gave it does sound rather distinctly abusive.

chrisCA · M

You should not have to be "the person he expects me to be". Never.

Oreocookies · 41-45, M

What are you doing "wrong" is it everything in his opinion?

justacloudaway · F

@Oreocookies Example, if i bring the cutlery using my hands to the table instead of putting it on a tray together with the food... he'll get mad at me saying I don't do things the easier way...

Oreocookies · 41-45, M

@justacloudaway wow sounds like a very controlling person...you'll probably never do good enough in his eyes

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