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To be betrayed

After thirty years of marriage I was delivered a blow that has forever knocked the wind out of my spirit. My wife had been seeing a younger guy. All she said was that it wasn’t my fault she just wanted someone younger. As if that would ease the pain. It literally felt as if someone was kicking my insides out. I had to take some time off from work because I was unable to function. I would start weeping at any given moment for no reason. Well yes there was a reason, I loved her more than life itself. Maybe it would’ve been different if I had given her a reason for her action, but I hadn’t. I went into severe manic depression. I finally went to see a counselor which I must say did help over a period of time. I have lots of friends and without them I seriously doubt that I would’ve made it. The only problem I’m dealing with now is trust issues. I trusted her with my life. Can anyone blame me for feeling this way? I’m not ignorant enough to think that all women are like the one I had. It’s just a matter of finding the right one. I did not say this to receive pity cause I’m not like that. I only did it to let people know exactly how I feel about people that cheat. For the men that cheat on their wives, you’re not a man, but a far cry from being one. It takes a man to love in better or worse. For the women that cheat on their husbands, you’re nothing but a cheap slut that I wouldn’t give the time of day to. I hope this will give some a different point of view if they’re thinking about cheating on their spouses. Peace
Did she give any indication that anything was wrong in your marriage? No clues? As for trust, once broken, it takes time to rebuild. That is on you, my friend and on your heart. I think cheating could mostly be prevented with honesty and clear communication. If one looks outside one's relationship for things that should be within, it will only lead to trouble. If problems cannot be resolved, people should be honest and leave. Too bad by then children are involved. You're a good guy. Sorry you got hurt.
@Waymor I would have asked more questions. She had no honesty nor wanted the marriage. Perhaps the fault lays with her. You are rid of her. That is for the best. Now you can be happy and find a lasting love.
Waymor · M
@PoetryNEmotion I guess you’re probably right. I was so dazed and confused at the time. I am glad that I never made a scene though.
@Waymor You have the right to all the feelings you have. You have to work through them. Then you can move forward. You can do this. Take all the time you need. You will meet someone when the time is right. A single life is new for you.
SumKindaMunster · 51-55, M
So take some time man, and just try to get past this. There is no rush, you don't need to feel ashamed.

You were betrayed, in one of the worst manners possible. It will take time for you to feel better.

The hurt will never fully go away, but you will learn to live with it and someday you will be ready to enter a newer, better relationship using what you learned to make it more fulfilling for both of you.

Hang in there.
Waymor · M
@SumKindaMunster Hey thanks man,
JustNik · 51-55, F
It sounds perfectly natural that you’d be having troubles trusting just now. That’s a horrible blow! I’m sorry you’ve experienced this, so glad you sought help so you could cope as well as possible, and truly wish you strength and peace as you make your way forward. I hope someday you can experience another relationship free from the shadow of this one.
Waymor · M
@JustNik Thanks for your kind words, you’re very sweet.
TimeStandingStill · 46-50, F
I am so sorry for all you’ve been going through. Betrayal after so many years is hard, I know from experience but just now that time heals. Take care of you and things will slowly get easier.
Waymor · M
@TimeStandingStill Thank you for your kind words. Take care,
eyeno · M
Sorry for the situation your in especially after so many years.

IMHO: There's a fine line I draw from the beginning, no matter how much time vested in a relationship.
Cross that line and I'm gone, it'll not be worth my time to repair the damage that'll follow.
Would I forgive, sure but I'd not invite them for coffee ever.
Waymor · M
@eyeno Thanks man,
smiler2012 · 56-60
sorry to hear that sadly much as this is wrong it happens the way of the world .can understand how you must feel this has come out of the blue and a total shock ass you had no idea there was anything wrong [waymor]
Eddiesolds · 61-69, M
Ya would hurt so much. Gosh im so sorry. This is very sad. What a fuckin nightmare
tenente · 100+, M
that's terrible. sorry man. find comfort soon
Waymor · M
@tenente Thanks man,

 
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