Trauma Bond 3 months ago i left my toxic relationship, i went NC and thought i had been healing...

Starcrossed · 41-45, F

Continuing to maintain your NC is for the best if you have a trauma bond. It will prevent you from further abuse from that person.

The longer you go NC, the more your trauma bond will be visible to you. With time you'll start to see the toxic behaviors of the other person and your own codependent responses. The actions and words you previously ignored will eventually be seen for what they are.

bugeye · 26-30, F

Let me be clear,dont feel guilty. you did the absolute best thing in leaving a toxic relationship. Things like that you cant change in a person so staying and hoping things change would have just gotten you more abuse. Take time for yourself, learn to love yourself first and foremost and maybe someone who will appreciate you the way you deserve will come along.

I hope your healing continues. <3

OliRos · 22-25, F

Why do you expect your ex to change? Why don't you change?

Somerset · 26-30, M

There is two truths here: one, the fact that we cannot change another person, only ourselves, and two, the fact that a relationship means compromise and demands change from both parties.

solitaire · 41-45, F

Once you learn to see the person for who they really are. It took me almost 2 years to heal from the trauma bond. I cannot see him any other way now other than the person who tricked me and kept me stuck

riseofthemachine · 41-45, M

In relationships I don’t like the word trauma bond . Relationships are hard and the “ bond ‘ is on both parts “ fear “. Simple as that . Your either going off your game or she is going off her game 😂😂😂. Simple as that 😂😂😂😂

Threepio

maybe i could have made her change

When it comes to toxic people, it has often been said that the only thing you can change (eventually) is their diapers....

PeachyK · 100+, F

If you can't love someone how they are and you feel the need to change them then thats not your person.

Husher

It will take time, it's normal to go back to thought, change this habitual thinking and go to therapy.

Bleak · 36-40, F

Change is necessary in every relationship but it is required by both the partners.

GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M

Trauma bonds never end well. I know from experience.

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