Trauma Bond

3 months ago i left my toxic relationship, i went NC and thought i had been healing but i started feeling guilty i left the relationship and have been missing her. I have been thinking that if i had stayed longer maybe i could have made her change even though it felt like she was getting constantly irritated by my presence. I read somewhere that it i might be in a trauma bond, I just want to know if any other has been in a trauma bond, how they got out of it, and how long it took them.

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OliRos · 22-25, F

Why do you expect your ex to change? Why don't you change?

ilikeitlikethat23 · 61-69, M

@OliRos he did, he changed his address, showing some strength. Stay away or you will get sucked back into the same toxic environment you left. She was toxic for because thats how she is that hasnt changed.

OliRos · 22-25, F

@ilikeitlikethat23 You know so much about it, I suspect you are an alter ego of the original poster.

ilikeitlikethat23 · 61-69, M

@OliRos im living that life, its tough to leave, to bad to stay, to good to leave....

OliRos · 22-25, F

@ilikeitlikethat23 That is a problem with many things. You could almost apply it to SW.

ilikeitlikethat23 · 61-69, M

@OliRos you cant compare a website to a gas lighting spouse, thats supposed to be the only person you should be able to trust to the core.

Midlifemale · 61-69, M

@ilikeitlikethat23 I live a similar life. The constant complaining, talks negative about everything and everyone, and her narcissistic attitude is just hard to deal with everyday. But with a nice nuce children and grand children and big house, divorce is out of the question.

OliRos · 22-25, F

@ilikeitlikethat23 You said it was too good to leave...

ilikeitlikethat23 · 61-69, M

@OliRos yes it is, but less every day, staying comes with a high price, but leaving and divorce is a problem also. Remember, you carry the mental trama with you, so it will move where you move. Its not like you flip a switch and ist all good again.

OliRos · 22-25, F

@ilikeitlikethat23 You can never leave yourself behind.