I know I need to do better in life and get clean but it's so daunting.

I think that's what my weird dream was telling me. Well more so the lady in it defending me from people who told me exactly what I was.

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FreddieUK · 70-79, M

I've seen many people get clean over the years and the first step for all was to admit they needed to do it for themselves. Recognise that you are a person to be valued and then choose the way you want to be helped to get clean (12 Step, CBT, Person Centred etc.). You may need help to get that far, so reach out. In the UK there are (over stretched) services, but they do help.