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Apology accepted. Access denied.

Absolutely right! Forgiveness is more for the forgiver. I eventually forgave the man who killed my soulmate, but I didn’t want to sit down with him for a cup of tea, and a chat.

WillaKissing · 56-60

Beautiful!

CookieCrumbs · F

@WillaKissing
How do you find all these amazing quotes. I always enjoy reading your quote collection.

WillaKissing · 56-60

@CookieCrumbs Honestly, I am a huge birthday well-wisher on Facebook (Shame on me), and I poach them off of the wives and female friends I have there because they touch me when I read them as I wish my female friends' Happy birthday. Does this make me terrible?

Reject · 26-30, M

I’ve never related to this mentality. To me forgiveness is when someone doesn’t have power over you anymore. Not when you’re so terrified of them you won’t let them back into your life. Fear isn’t forgiveness to me.

CookieCrumbs · F

@Reject
Is it fear when you refuse them back to have presence in your life?

Reject · 26-30, M

@CookieCrumbs I assume so. Why else would anyone draw such an extreme line?

SnowedIn · 46-50, M

This. Seriously this.

val70 · 51-55

Sorry, but I disagree. Perhaps selfish and in some cases even cruel

CookieCrumbs · F

@val70
Would you mind elaborating on your views?

val70 · 51-55

@CookieCrumbs It's early in the morning and I need to prepare to go to work :-) In short, the apology is accepted and then the person gets ignored for ever, that smacks to me as being a person who isn't true and indeed rather more false. With everyone, including him/herself

CookieCrumbs · F

@val70
I understand where you are coming from.

room101 · 51-55, M

Not sure if this is the same thing.

If I can understand why a person said/did something, I can accept it. Will I forgive them? Depends on the deed/words. Will I let them into my life after the deed/words? Depends on the person.

One thing is certain, however..................I WILL NEVER FORGET!

CookieCrumbs · F

@room101
And not forgetting will impact how much you can trust them again, even if you let them back into your life.

But if you can trust someone, you’ll always be wondering about their intent in every interaction with you. Why would you want?

That’s where I was coming from when I posted this. It’s like we can forgive them by understanding why a person did/said something.

But if we can’t trust that they will not hurt us again, why let them back into our life?

room101 · 51-55, M

@CookieCrumbs Agreed. But for me it's not about the likelihood of them hurting me. I think that, for me, it goes a lot deeper. It's about integrity and principle. That person may not have actually hurt me in any tangible way. But, if it becomes clear to me that their personal ethics are questionable...........see ya!

Magenta · F

I know you didn't ask ( ;-) ) but I agree with @Reject and @val70. Too hardcore black & white.
We all live in this humanness and we blunder and flub up. If learning from our mistakes is truly a thing, then we have to allow for them.

CookieCrumbs · F

@Magenta
Funny you started your comment that way… did you see the other post/question? 😅

Beautifully expressed. I appreciate this.

If learning from our mistakes is truly a thing, then we have to allow for them

Magenta · F

@CookieCrumbs Haha, I did see it! 😄
Thank you.

IronHamster · 56-60, M

Stewing hatefully on wrongs committed against you is like taking poison and expecting the other to die. It's not worth the stress.

originnone · 61-69, M

really?

View 1 more replies »

originnone · 61-69, M

@CookieCrumbs I guess when I forgive someone, I expect to approach them with less caution than I probably should....

CookieCrumbs · F

@originnone
You can only forgive so many times that trusting to have them in your life is almost impossible.

originnone · 61-69, M

@CookieCrumbs Yeah....I get it...I'd even say I agree, but I don't really do that....I keep coming back like an idiot.

Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F

Im ashamed of myself. ;)

CookieCrumbs · F

@Fungirlmmm
Because you open the door for them?

Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F

@CookieCrumbs exactly

CookieCrumbs · F

@Fungirlmmm
You’re too kind.

SW-User

Never trust again after being backstabbed.

SW-User

I don’t forgive, I only forget after some time.

Fairydust · F

Love this 🥰✨

Forgiving is freeing .

Sojournersoul · M

Great statement.

TexChik · F

Absolutely.

ProfessorPlum77 · 70-79, MVIP

Very true.

SW-User

Yes

WandererTony · 56-60, M

Reminds me of husbands who delayed the anniversary gift because they forgot. 😂😂

Degbeme · 70-79, M

Forgive, but never forget. ;)

ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

Yep. I agree.

bijouxbroussard · F

Yes, yes, yes !. So many people don’t get that. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that they return and things go on as before. It can mean you go on with your life, they go on with theirs, separately. You just no longer want to kill them; and they’re not living rent-free in your head or anywhere near you.

CookieCrumbs · F

@bijouxbroussard
You expressed this better than I could have (including the words in bold): 😊

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that they return and things go on as before. It can mean you go on with your life, they go on with theirs, separately.

Forgiveness is letting go of those feelings towards them because of what they did. But you also don’t want them in your life.