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bookerdana · M
Falling in love happens easily,often and frequently without reason or rationality :Eros. Staying in love is harder a commitment to the loved one come what may,it has a transcendent quality that you choose..i was looking for a quote ,couldn't find the one i wanted so these two will have to suffice
“When the two people who thus discover that they are on the same secret road are of different sexes, the friendship which arises between them will very easily pass – may pass in the first half hour – into erotic love. Indeed, unless they are physically repulsive to each other or unless one or both already loves elsewhere, it is almost certain to do so sooner or later. And conversely, erotic love may lead to Friendship between the lovers. But this, so far from obliterating the distinction between the two loves, puts it in a clearer light. If one who was first, in the deep and full sense, your Friend, is then gradually or suddenly revealed as also your lover you will certainly not want to share the Beloved’s erotic love with any third. But you will have no jealousy at all about sharing the Friendship. Nothing so enriches an erotic love as the discovery that the Beloved can deeply, truly and spontaneously enter into Friendship with the Friends you already had; to feel that not only are we two united by erotic love but we three or four or five are all travelers on the same quest, have all a common vision.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Two stubborn pieces of iron
G.K. Chesterton
Very few people ever state properly the strong argument in favour of marrying for love or against marrying for money. The argument is not that all lovers are heroes and heroines, nor is it that all dukes are profligates or all millionaires cads. The argument is this, that the differences between a man and a woman are at the best so obstinate and exasperating that they practically cannot be got over unless there is an atmosphere of exaggerated tenderness and mutual interest. To put the matter in one metaphor, the sexes are two stubborn pieces of iron; if they are to be welded together, it must be while they are red-hot. Every woman has to find out that her husband is a selfish beast, because every man is a selfish beast by the standard of a woman. But let her find out the beast while they are both still in the story of "Beauty and the Beast." Every man has to find out that his wife is cross—that is to say, sensitive to the point of madness: for every woman is mad by the masculine standard. But let him find out that she is mad while her madness is more worth considering than anyone else's sanity.
“When the two people who thus discover that they are on the same secret road are of different sexes, the friendship which arises between them will very easily pass – may pass in the first half hour – into erotic love. Indeed, unless they are physically repulsive to each other or unless one or both already loves elsewhere, it is almost certain to do so sooner or later. And conversely, erotic love may lead to Friendship between the lovers. But this, so far from obliterating the distinction between the two loves, puts it in a clearer light. If one who was first, in the deep and full sense, your Friend, is then gradually or suddenly revealed as also your lover you will certainly not want to share the Beloved’s erotic love with any third. But you will have no jealousy at all about sharing the Friendship. Nothing so enriches an erotic love as the discovery that the Beloved can deeply, truly and spontaneously enter into Friendship with the Friends you already had; to feel that not only are we two united by erotic love but we three or four or five are all travelers on the same quest, have all a common vision.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Two stubborn pieces of iron
G.K. Chesterton
Very few people ever state properly the strong argument in favour of marrying for love or against marrying for money. The argument is not that all lovers are heroes and heroines, nor is it that all dukes are profligates or all millionaires cads. The argument is this, that the differences between a man and a woman are at the best so obstinate and exasperating that they practically cannot be got over unless there is an atmosphere of exaggerated tenderness and mutual interest. To put the matter in one metaphor, the sexes are two stubborn pieces of iron; if they are to be welded together, it must be while they are red-hot. Every woman has to find out that her husband is a selfish beast, because every man is a selfish beast by the standard of a woman. But let her find out the beast while they are both still in the story of "Beauty and the Beast." Every man has to find out that his wife is cross—that is to say, sensitive to the point of madness: for every woman is mad by the masculine standard. But let him find out that she is mad while her madness is more worth considering than anyone else's sanity.
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bookerdana · M
@SW-User *post wiggles by her,enticingly* maybe email/ PM is more practical🤔
SW-User
@bookerdana I mean if you want to wiggle it, it might tickle my entertainment factor too. 😂
bookerdana · M
@SW-User 💃 Cmon post..the hips don't lie...oh posty,thats awful!!!🤦♀️
UnderTheBridge · 51-55, M
reminds me of this phrase I read somewhere and I paraphrase it, "people are attracted to each other by looks, but stay in a relationship by personality"
SW-User
@UnderTheBridge I like that too.
This message was deleted by its author.
This message was deleted by its author.
nonsensiclesnail · F
I don’t want to overstep, but I’m not sure if you mean the thought itself or the way you have written out the thought. If I were to write this it would read like this.
We fell in love with the little things, things that endear us to one another. We walk in love by way of character and depth of understanding. We strive together in unity, in solidarity.
But that just because it more my style. I see nothing wrong with how you’ve said what you’ve said
and I do see truth to this!
We fell in love with the little things, things that endear us to one another. We walk in love by way of character and depth of understanding. We strive together in unity, in solidarity.
But that just because it more my style. I see nothing wrong with how you’ve said what you’ve said
and I do see truth to this!
SW-User
@nonsensiclesnail Not my words, they're from somewhere else. But thank you for your version.
SUPERVlXEN · F
And we walk away coz?
SW-User
@SUPERVlXEN I think, we see in people what we want to see. Once our attention intensifies with someone, we see what fills our gaps and ignore what would make those gaps worse (which is why we then feel it was fake). Often, we are the ones tricking ourselves, ignoring red flags.
And it feels only time can really tell one way or another. At least I don't know different right now.
And it feels only time can really tell one way or another. At least I don't know different right now.
SUPERVlXEN · F
@SW-User
Hence endearing qualities and personality might as well be a glimpse of a hope in someone and not really anything about love.
Hence endearing qualities and personality might as well be a glimpse of a hope in someone and not really anything about love.
Jeephikelove · 51-55, F
@SUPERVlXEN yes, you’re so right!
alan20 · M
I've loved for a long time before I fell in love. And to be honest I'm not too sure I know the difference. It's more a question of intensity and evolution.
alan20 · M
@SW-User We can only live for the present I suppose. I often think myself of taking a break but it's only a bit of fun. Actually I'm off for a seaside break tomorrow for a couple of days.
SW-User
@alan20 that sounds amazing. I hope you get good weather and a lot of fun.
alan20 · M
@SW-User Thank you. Weather may be okay despite it being Ireland. It's girls who get fun; I'll hopefully get some soul-solace : Debussy's La Mer, Rachmaninov Symphony2 slow mvt, etc. For me nostalgia and yearning often equal fun. Born like that. Mind you if a girl in a bikini walks past I'll not avert my eyes. Hope springs eternal. 😍
Unlearn · 41-45, M
Matters of the heart are complicated. I feel many a times, the reason for falling-in and falling-out of love can be same. Same qualities that draws us to a person, can also make us leave that person over a period of time...
SW-User
@Unlearn I'll have to think about that. That would mean that the reason we were drawn to those qualities have changed, which implies we have changed and outgrown them. I think.
alan20 · M
I think true love has more to do with relating to the other's mind, thinking, and feelings towards others. Not that I'm asexual !
SW-User
@alan20 sex is a beautiful by product of love. In itself it has nothing to do with love.
alan20 · M
@SW-User I think I had some problems with that when I was younger finding it a threat to a loving friendship rather than an expression of it. It didn't help that my girl had been molested by a priest when she was a child, but I don't want to use that as an excuse for my own problems.
SW-User
@alan20 there is a lot of trauma around sex and sexuality generally in people. It manifests in various ways.
I have so much to offer here, but my philosophical insight isn't at its best; explanation wise right now. It's more than worthwhile for discussion.♥️
Hopefully I can return to it.
Hopefully I can return to it.
SW-User
@MoonlightLullaby take your time.
This message was deleted by its author.
popmol · 26-30, M
big things you get used to because they have the most impact. while small things can add up and be bothersome or cute!
SW-User
@popmol A great perspective, yes indeed.
popmol · 26-30, M
@SW-User often its the small things piling up that annoys more then huge flaws.
like ooh he's lazy but he never puts down the toilet seat! that toilet seat has more of the anger
like ooh he's lazy but he never puts down the toilet seat! that toilet seat has more of the anger
SW-User
@popmol I very much agree. It is always the small things that become bigger triggers.
alan20 · M
I agree. And I'm all for walking and think I always have been. And its important to be able to disagree or at least accept the possibility.
SW-User
@alan20 I'm all for walking too, entwining together at a slower pace.
alan20 · M
@SW-User We are in complete agreement.
Montanaman · M
When one fall out of love, i think it's for selfish reasons, boredom, unrealistic expectations. Childlike decisions that will later become regrets. 🙄😔💔
[media=https://youtu.be/E9NXWoIK_VM]
[media=https://youtu.be/E9NXWoIK_VM]
ABCDEF7 · M
To me, words "little" & "big" don't make much sense to me here.
ABCDEF7 · M
@SW-User For example you a bid businessman/industrialist, very successful, great personality, great manager, great thoughts. But you don't feel endearing even after meeting him few times.
Do the words little & big still have same importance to you ? Maybe not for me.
Do the words little & big still have same importance to you ? Maybe not for me.
SW-User
@ABCDEF7 I meant in terms of gestures. Like the big gestures would be the grand things, buying big gifts, big flattery and so on, whereas the small gestures would be simpler things, like checking in on us, subtle care, etc.
ABCDEF7 · M
@SW-User I still don't consider buying big gifts, big flattery as big things, and checking in on us, subtle care as small/little things. These small things may seem simple things.
It's easier to be different, but difficult to be simple.
It's easier to be different, but difficult to be simple.
WhateverWorks · 36-40
🤷🏻♀️ that all sounds like discovering chemistry and compatibility to me, not love itself. ‘Love’ mixed with all that had more to do with trust built over time.
Wiseacre · F
Personalities are a double edged sword. My ex is a psychopath with an enviable personality.
SW-User
@Wiseacre And personalities are changeable for those who are capable. True.
wise words indeed! totally love this the kind of love that will grow and flourish. this totally makes me melt in awwe..
Allelse · 36-40, M
Tits are good too, bouncing about the place.
I am way too Dumb for such heavy concepts!
😴
😴
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
@SW-User So what do you think of Glassysky & Would You Do Hin
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
@SW-User I bet its a yes
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
@SW-User your one of my favorite people
SW-User
@JohnOinger That's very nice of you.❤️
Jeephikelove · 51-55, F
100% agree!
Zonuss · 41-45, M
We fall in love with people who are passionate about us as we are them.
Even if they are no good. 🙂
Even if they are no good. 🙂
alan20 · M
@SW-User Used to walk past it every day to and from my room in Swiss Cottage. Free views of the zoo ! They'd be much better in their natural environment even if humans might need to be in cages.
SW-User
@alan20 it is always a shame when an animal is caged, even if it is educational or whatever reasons there are to cage them.
alan20 · M
@SW-User In Jersey Zoo, founded by Gerard Durrell they keep the animals in as free and natural an environment as possible. I was there once when an ape escaped from its enclosure and decided to visit the cafeteria. The panic among the diners was actually funny.
MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M
You can fall.. 👄 you can walk...👄... but I DANCE🕺⭐
Edit: I wanted a lil star too 🥺
Edit: I wanted a lil star too 🥺
SW-User
@MartinTheFirst there you go 🌟.
basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M
I think it's accurate.
SW-User
I totally agree