I Want To Write My Random Thoughts And Feelings

@Cat05 You hit the nail right on the head. I think part of it stems from technology and how that has changed things. I think the other part stems from us believing that our parents were hard on us, and we weren't going to be that way to our kids. Sadly, I think because of that, our society has devolved to your description of every person for himself/herself. I don't feel that my parents were hard on me, and I don't think I was that hard on my kids, but then, they no longer talk to me, so I went wrong somewhere. 🤔

I think parenting is hard enough already for adults just because there is no right or wrong tactic to raise a child or children or there isn't a particular system for it. It's really to figure it out ourselves to what's best for the child and sometimes it stems from our culture, childhood, and how our parents raised us. Sometimes parents raise their child without even realizing they're doing the same as how their parents raised them and sometimes the child feels it's the wrong tactic to be raised so they rebel or act the opposite of their parents' desires. In addition to that, children, are very expensive! Haha. But back to how people are now a days... it's like you have to be easy on them and constantly always reward them with a golden star. At my last job, the girl next to me always needed have some sort of constant validation and rewards with a "golden star" from my former boss. She would get offended and upset when my boss would criticize her with a certain part of the project to improve. Oddly enough, my boss secretly told me this about her. Maybe because I don't need a golden star to be rewarded for every little effort and I can take criticism to improve? I'm not sure why, but I'm assuming there is a listening ear at the time than someone like the girl next to me that needs to be rewarded and given loads of constant attention.

I'm very sorry that they no longer talk to you. Maybe you can reach out to them first and if they don't respond back, then they must have some things to figure out what went wrong as well. Sometimes time and space is best within any relationship for it to be reconciled and fixed.

Yes, you are quite right, we all do things differently. I have to say I don't believe my parents were particularly hard on me, although my brother says otherwise, but he is 12 yrs older than me. I was content as a kid, didn't really want for anything, and my kids were the same way. They had a roof over their head, 3 meals a day, good clothes, and toys when they were young. I guess we all want more though from time to time. I understand what you are saying about the validation with your coworker. Maybe that stems from how they were brought up, but that type of behavior does make things tough on other people. I think that constantly being rewarded doesn't allow a person to grow, or get better at what they are doing. With the constant rewards, then they could be doing something mediocre or barely getting by, and not know it due to the constant rewards.

@Cat05 I think they fall into the category of just wanting everything given to them without having to work for it. My oldest which is almost 30 and with 2 kids still lives with her mom. I guess my youngest married an older guy whose family has money, so she doesn't need to worry anymore. I have not thought of therapy, and I don't think I need it. I can't change how they feel, and my life goes on, whether they are a part of it or not. I am not going to stop living or be depressed or upset because they have chosen not to have anything to do with me. I miss them, sure, but I am going to continue to try and enjoy life, and have some fun while I can.