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I Have Something to Say

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I Have Something to Say

Can someone tell me how to get over this guy? It's been 2 years, maybe more than that since i met him(Let's call him E). I met him for 5-10 minutes at the most. I don't know much about him other than through his face book posts. For 2 years, i secretly liked him(I don't even know why). I wasn't able to date anyone or move on because of this guy. I met a guy J once in a bar. He is a nice guy.He asked me out and i rejected him because I hopelessly like this guy E. E got engaged and posted a picture of him and his girlfriend. I still liked him as a friend. A month ago i removed E from my face book because he is too much of a distraction. Last night, on newyear's eve I went to bar again. I met this another guy Ever. He is calm and composed. After a small chat, he left me for few minutes that's when I remembered this E guy(we barely met and he left within 5 minutes). I went to restroom and cried. I came back and Ever guy left already. I messaged this E on face book, saying I still like him(I was too drunk).

Can someone tell how to move on. I barely know him and don't know why i like him so much.

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ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

Best way to get over someone is to get under someone

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MissMollyCharlotte0702

Not sure about a toothache, but maybe heartache or a broken heart. Whenever I’ve had a toothache I just wanted to end my life,..lol@ozgirl512

Sireeshak · 41-45, F

@MissMollyCharlotte0702 I am not a teen to be obsessed but something about him is holding me back. You are right though there are many more men out there who are great.

MissMollyCharlotte0702

But you do show signs of being obsessed with him. Teen or not. This guy is on your mind all of the time, right?@Sireeshak

MissMollyCharlotte0702

You don’t like him....you like the idea of him.

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MissMollyCharlotte0702

How do you even know he is a good guy? You don’t know him. You have built up in your head that he is this great guy...when he might very well be the opposite. @Sireeshak

DreamCoCreators · 36-40, M

@MissMollyCharlotte0702 exactly what I'm trying to say too.

Sireeshak · 41-45, F

@MissMollyCharlotte0702 Well he was courteous. maybe you are right, we are often nice to people we just met.

DreamCoCreators · 36-40, M

You need to realise you only saw a tiny fraction of this E guy. The rest of him is as unknown as the guy sitting in front of you on the bus. Online presence is but a tiny tiny part of you, if you spend any time here you will know that to be true. So, when you truly see that, you will realise it is OK to like that part, a lot. But it is also not OK to be fooled by it. The unknown is not something you can love. Does that help at all?

Sireeshak · 41-45, F

@DreamCoCreators Yes, i only saw a tiny fraction of E but he is overshadowing other people i met like J and Ever. I don't want it to be like that. I just want to get over and want to be able to feel the feeling of having a crush, physically getting attracted to someone ..so forth

DreamCoCreators · 36-40, M

@Sireeshak then the only thing I can think is you believe in that tiny part you saw. So to overcome it you must push yourself harder to believe the other 99% of him could be anything. You can't love anything.

iQuit · F

If he was as single as a Pringle you'd still friend zone E

Be real with yourself
And find you some 5 different E's

You'll have options to forgetting by remembering some new conquest.

Plus, if he's engaged
You know that is such a No "to the hell" no move to do.

Don't do to others something you would not wish for yourself

Sireeshak · 41-45, F

@iQuit No way in the hell i would go remotely close to him if he is engaged or has a girl friend etc.. it's the part of getting over him i am concerned of.

DistilledSpirit · 41-45, M

You met for only 10 minutes, and are pining over him for 2 years and crying in the bathroom? This isn’t healthy.

It’s important for you to realize that you don’t like E. You don’t even know him. You have created a version of him in your head, based on your obsessive Facebook stalking, and are infatuated with the fantasy. At this point it has nothing to do with him, he’s just become the outlet for your own insecurities and desires.

You don’t need to “get over” E - there’s nothing to get over. What you need is to make the changes in yourself and your life so that you can control your obsessive behaviour before it leads you somewhere worse.

Talking about it will be good. It seems like you’ve probably been keeping all of this a secret from your friends and family, but you need to try to find someone you can confide in about all of this.

MissMollyCharlotte0702

Great post. Well said. @DistilledSpirit

PaleandPolluted · 36-40, F

You find him more attractive than he actually probably is because you don’t know him, you’re imagining him how you want....

SW-User

Find a guy better than E

SW-User

wtf

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