Asks the man always handing me jars to open 😏

Well ...yeah

Yup. SO KEEP TWISTING GHERKIN BOY

And light my sister's cigars.

She keeps buying contraptions to help open jars, but she always has to come back to me. I have job security until she finds the right jar-opening tool.

*giggles*… yeah, that’s why 🤭

not just.. i have other jars too 😃

I got a tool for that

I have arthritis

No, I can do even that by myself.

No, I keep you around as an example of what not to be or do.

No, I keep you around for when the remote gets kicked under the couch

All depends…..what kind of pickles?

Nope not at all! there are other obvious uses for a Captain Bard, I just can't get the guy to come over and mow the grass for one!

You need to keep your pickle contained mate 🙄

If that were the case, I'd have to let you go....I don't have any pickle jars.
Fortunately, though, that's not why I like having you around.

No, of course not. You're of no use with those anyway.