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I Am a Quiet Person

I get so tired of people asking “why are you so quiet?”. It’s as if being quiet is a bad thing. It really gets on my nerves.

I get insecure a lot and sometimes worry that I don’t make any sense when I speak. So I stay quiet.

I give slow responses, because I observe and take in what is said. I choose my words very wisely, being careful not to say anything offensive or hurtful. And because of this, I miss out on a lot of fun conversations.

Everyone, especially my family, push me to talk and put me in the most uncomfortable situations. They force me to go to social gatherings in hopes I will talk. That just spikes my anxiety even more.

And while I’m writing this post, I’m worrying. Do I make sense, or am I just blabbering nonsensical stuff?

Funny thing is, sometimes when I create posts on here or other social media platforms, I ask someone. “Does this make sense?” Just to get an approval.
This makes total sense. Parents, especially Asian parents, want the family to be seen as high regard, enjoyable, etc.

So when they have kids, they want to have them be as involved as they are. They don't understand how we feel some times and push us into these spots then get annoyed when we don't perform as they expected.

Anxiety and stuff wasn't such a big deal for them back then. So they probably are trying to do their best but lack the knowledge of how to do it comfortably.

There's nothing wrong with you and you have every right to get tired of being asked certain questions.
Henal · 26-30, F
@SW-User That really sucks 😕
@Henal Yeah. I was so insecure during high school because when my friends asked to go out, it was an automatic excuse.

I can see where you are coming from though. Just keep being yourself. 🤗
Henal · 26-30, F
@SW-User haha thank you 🤗
Zaxel · 26-30, M
my extended family looks down on me for being quiet. when i was younger, i was legitimately very quiet and they'd try to make me feel like theres something wrong with me. im better at speaking now but now my family understands what it means when im quiet around someone. i dont trust them and i dont want to invest my efforts in them
Henal · 26-30, F
@Zaxel Lol I wish mine would understand, but they just keep forcing it, and it just makes me want to go further into my shell.
There's more of us than you know!!

Everyone's got a soapbox today, clambering to be heard.
The thoughtful, considered approach, is lost on those whose only motivation is noise. But they're the outlier's, not you.

While retreating altogether from anxiety can make it grow, don't be pushed to run before you can walk.
If it's chronic shyness, though, there's help too.

Do be well rounded in all social settings, but acknowledge your temperament as thoughtful and intuitive. When you do speak, you offer some of the most valuable contributions to a discussion.

And yes, you make perfect sense!
Henal · 26-30, F
@SethGreene531 Yeah I’m glad, there are people like me out there :) it makes me feel a little better haha
@Henal 😊
assemblingaknob · 26-30, F
I'm the same in real life but online I don't care.
But IRL i agree it makes conversations and group settings very uncomfortable for all parties involved, if they have a different personality than yourself. But there will be a few people who are the same as yourself and you guys would be able to vibe.
Your post is understandable, as is your rationale.
A great deal of the time, I am in my own head.
I too have to redirect to engage in a conversation.

As a general rule no one gets bent out of shape with ,
Hello, and how are you?

There are no judgements here. If someone tries, then there is always the block button.
It makes perfect sense and if you don't want to do thing out of your comfort zone I say all for it were ever you feel comfortable your family need to understand that. But I hope get the response your looking for
Henal · 26-30, F
@SW-User They never seem to understand that, no matter how many times I’ve tried explaining it to them.
@Henal yep certain family memebers they are stuck in their way and will never change
RopinTexan · 31-35, M
I can definitely relate! Some coworkers at my new job today told me "You know you can talk to us if you want, right?" What I really wanted to say was "Well yeah, if I wanted to I would, but I don't want. Now please let me work." But I held my tongue.
TheGoodGuy · M
It makes total sense. Do you do that bcoz if you say something wrong you'll be beating yourself up about it afterwards?
TheGoodGuy · M
@Henal I understand. One way to overcome that, let's call it overthinking, is to be with people (physically) as much as possible, people who you love and trust, family, then that type of thinking is less likely to occur as you start living 'in the moment'.
But it may get worse before it gets better, then you'll start caring less and less about it, hopefully 🙂
Henal · 26-30, F
@TheGoodGuy I suppose so :)
TheGoodGuy · M
@Henal 🙂
Best way to start is by eating meals together, that way the food is more blessed and those blessings go into us. Literally just have to exchange a few words during the meal for this to happen 🙂
JRVanguard · 26-30, M
A million times this!
JRVanguard · 26-30, M
@Henal To me, we’re the normal ones
People are weird😅

If you ever need someone to talk about it, I’m here for you
Henal · 26-30, F
@JRVanguard Thanks, I appreciate it 😄 Same here, if you ever need to talk :)
JRVanguard · 26-30, M
@Henal Of course

Thank you!😁
So relatable. 👍🏽

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