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What do you need in a partner?

What are the qualifications that you cannot compromise on in a relationship?
What do you do if you are committed to someone who is good but who cannot or will not provide those needs?

No answer is wrong here
Sapio · 51-55, M
I don't need qualifications. I need companionship. I can cook, iron, and sew. I just need good, faithful, honest company.
solitaire · 41-45, F
@Sapio What can you sew?
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Sapio · 51-55, M
@solitaire I can fix hems and stitch seams that have come apart, basic repairs to clothing.
Doesn't use drugs.
Doesn't have a criminal record.
Doesn't cause any problems.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@OliviaOfTheNight Hmmm the first two are definitely solid. But would you break any of those rules for someone that you really liked and believed in?
@REMsleep Absolutely not.
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PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F
I need to be able to laugh with them. Genuinely laugh from the belly that makes me want to high five them. I need consistency and stability and the space granted for open communication without being belittled for revealing how I feel about something. I need to be respected as their partner and for them to act accordingly with others as a reflection of that. I need physical confirmation that I’m cared for. I need to feel that despite my flaws that I’m wanted and needed in their life on a level that no one else can fill the role of. Putting it “on paper” makes me think I’m asking too much of another though, so I’ll just condense it all down to I need someone who can pick up tacos for me sometimes.
Beaker4444 · 46-50, M
@PerfectionOfTheHeart It seems like we are both looking for the same impossible to find combination.
PerfectionOfTheHeart · 46-50, F
@Beaker4444 Should we lower our standards? Or just start the search for a magic lamp? Both kinda sound exhausting.
Livingwell · 61-69, M
@PerfectionOfTheHeart You nailed it. Not taken for granted is top of the list. And acceptance of who we are without judgement.
My penis…


Sorry. Couldn’t help myself 😇
Jeephikelove · 51-55, F
@TheOneyouwerewarnedabout that’s important
AgentOfChaos · 36-40, M
Regular and willing sex. If she's unwilling I will seek it elsewhere
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@AgentOfChaos Do you ever get bored of the same person?
Shouldn't sex be passionate and good not just regular??
AgentOfChaos · 36-40, M
@REMsleep Frequent sex suggests that it's good. I should have said regular and enthusiastic sex. One shouldn't be forced. I don't want a relationship in which sex is weaponized, and I don't think you love a person if you deny them sex. Dead bedroom marriages are a thing and I think it is those people that shouldn't get married, not people enthusiastic to enjoy each other.
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mindstruggle · 31-35, F
Tbn I don't need any of those anymore. Guess I just work on myself more to be a better person.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@mindstruggle I'm confused. You don't need a companion??? Anymore or you have no requirements from your companions??
Jeephikelove · 51-55, F
I need honesty, loyalty and transparency, a good sense of humour, him to accept my weirdness and bring some of his own, a man who understands what a partnership is and doesn’t expect me to do everything, a man who is at least somewhat emotionally available and we can work together to bring out the rest, I say that because we all have issues. A high sex drive!
Adogslife · 61-69, M
She HAS to be self sufficient. There’s nothing worse than an attractive woman talking about all the places she’s been, none of which she’s paid for. Being a sole provider is also very costly in divorce court. Very.

She has to enjoy sex. If you’re not genuinely sexually compatible, she’s just a good friend.
There are plenty of awesome women that enjoy sex. Don’t suffer through life with one that doesn’t.

She’s got to be intelligent. I think it’s an integral part of respect. How can you spend your life with someone if you can’t learn from them? That just doesn’t make sense.
solitaire · 41-45, F
@Adogslife Did you have to pay alimony in divorce court? 😆
Adogslife · 61-69, M
@solitaire Both children were adults, so there was no child support. The alimony was massive.
solitaire · 41-45, F
@Adogslife Hmmm. I guess laws vary from country to country.
Shakealot · 26-30, F
Honesty and Loyalty
Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M
It is strange. I am in a relationship but I feel like I'm going crazy. She has her place and i have mine. She does not want to get married but it's understood that we are a couple. Yet, there also is no physical intimacy. We don't even sleep together. I know she has health issues that cause pain so i don't complain. She wants to go on a cruise in january and all i had to pay for has been the seats on the planes to and from florida. We lost our dog to old age recently so that connection is gone. Yeah...so like what is going on with me? Super anxious.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@Tastyfrzz It seems like she wants just a good friend and companion but you want more. You want sexual intimacy and true togetherness possibly in one house hold.
I think that I can understand her a bit.
As women we often give our best years when we had strength and energy to some guy who maybe didn't appreciate it and after a while it's tiring. With hormones and lack of activity women can become settled and satisfied without sex but it rare that they don't crave intimacy from a companion
It's not the same for men.
She doesn't want your money. She just wants a good male friend that she can trust and share experiences with. She doesn't want to go back to younger days using her time to cook and clean for a man. Sex is probably more work than enjoyable to her.
That's what you are to her.
That's my guess and I don't think that I am wrong.
Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M
@REMsleep she likes to clean, and i like to cook so it's kinda symbiotic. She's never been married and did not have kids. I think the anxiety was mostly from lack of sleep. I feel better now. I did take two valarian too.
solitaire · 41-45, F
Financial stability, travel lover, share house chores (I live in a country where most men treat their wives like maids!), absolute certainty that the person will never cheat on me, hmmm. These are a few I could think of for now
solitaire · 41-45, F
@SmileOnYourBrother Bro I'm from India. For plumbing problems we hire a plumber and for electrical problems we hire an electician. For mechanical problems we sent the car to the mechanic 😃.
solitaire · 41-45, F
@SmileOnYourBrother Does not matter cos I am most probably going to remain single. I do have a right to express what my ideal partner would be like though 🤔
@solitaire Well then you can hire a maid to "share" in the household chores. Fair? I hope YOU are "financially stable". Maids, electricians, nmechanics, and plumbers cost a lot of money. 🤭😉
Anyway, I can cover sharing the household chores. What do you offer in return besides astronomical service bills? (as if I don't already know 🤭)
Them to be a partner. Someone communication is open with, we're both chasing and catching each other. Lack of emotional games, anyone I should be interested in should've outgrown that sh't years ago. Trust and confidence both ways in all things. Physical attraction .

I don't want anyone else's kids(multiple reasons for this) even though I have my own. I'm not after a bunch of baggage (debt, family, ex's, friends that want to sleep with her) etc.

Give me someone who we help each other's lives be drama free
Lilymoon · F
Intelligence, humour, kind, reasonably good lookin' 😀
LunarOrbit · 56-60, M
@Lilymoon You forgot loaded 💰💶💵🤑
Lilymoon · F
@LunarOrbit that's bonus 🤑
GuiltyBiStander · 31-35, F
A sense of humor, and good taste.

If they don't taste good they better make me laugh.
SUPERVlXEN · F
@GuiltyBiStander
And if both? Marriage right away? 👀
Magenta · F
Sounds like a resume or job interview.
@Magenta Yeah, without reciprocation. 🤣
Harmonium1923 · 51-55, M
@Magenta I've spoken with many qualified candidates. What makes you stand out from the rest for this, um, position?
Respect and communication (and it’s what I’m willing to provide). If someone starts mistreating me, or I can’t know what’s happening with them, I won’t stay. Life is too short to be miserable.
SarahTheHooker · 26-30, F
Wants and needs are different things. Sometimes they overlap, sometimes they don't.

But...having said that; Acceptance of me and my lifestyle choices - ie, career. Faithfulness. Respect and Support. Good sense of humour and empathy. Good looks are desirable but not essential. Someone that you feel safe with.

Sarah 💋
Sutten · 36-40, F
Honesty, trustworthy, understanding, effective communication skills.
romell · 51-55, M
@Sutten anymore fantasies
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@romell Are you saying that a woman wanting those things is silly? Or are you flirting with her? 🧐
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@Sutten Yes bare minimum, don't settle for less please.
TexChik · F
Intelligence, a strong commitment to being fit and healthy, enjoys my passion, is very kind, tall, and can dance. ☺
Heartlander · 80-89, M
Trust. Trust that they will not undermine or compromise your best interest.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@Heartlander That's a good one but even the best of people sometimes under mind us by mistake.
Heartlander · 80-89, M
@REMsleep Yep, and that's often the cause of the breakup or weakening of the bond between partners.
Houdini · 56-60, M
Trust someone that loves you even though you bad times. Someone that is funny and good company
AnotherHe · 36-40, M
I was recently got cheated on.. i left.. infidelity is ermm..
solitaire · 41-45, F
@AnotherHe Don't know why people cheat. They can just break up. Very selfish.
AnotherHe · 36-40, M
@solitaire if only i could reply you..lol.. but, I've seen who she truly is, earlier, but i decided to perceive her differently.. so, basically it's my fault too
Santino34 · 36-40, MNew
To know when she should listen to her partner.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@Santino34 That sounds pretty sexist if that's the first thing and the main requirement that you go to. Especially because it's important for both parties to listen to each other. I agree with traditional gender roles for the most part but you saying that in that way could be seen as a 🚩
Maybe you'd prefer someone who was raised in an environment to be very submissive and that's ok if this is your preference.
Santino34 · 36-40, MNew
@REMsleep I didn’t even finish reading it
I’m just referring to my self and my choice is a real biological female to be involved with emotionally
What’s in your head and how you interpret material you read is on YOU, I’m only responsible for what I believe, think and do.🍷
in10RjFox · M
I would commit to someone only after knowing that she is good and has matching qualities and that we compliment each other in life and not an hindrance to life. So other qualities are patience, approach to bring up an issue and resolve, is independent but waits to get things done where help is required, not throwing tantrums etc
I don't need a partner at all
MyNameIsHurl · 41-45, F
Best friendines and loyalty
Money and wonderlust
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@metaldog $ 🤑 hmmmmmm respect the honesty but that requirement may cause a few issues.
LunarOrbit · 56-60, M
Deleted
LunarOrbit · 56-60, M
@Lilymoon Yeah. List was too long. Ran out of internet. 😂😂😂
InHeaven · F
For me —likemindedness , cooperation, compromise, working together. Who is good but can not provide those things… is not good for me lol
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
I don't even have enough experience to be able to tell. But compatibility is crucial. Whatever it means in my case.
HobNoblin · 36-40, M
Nothing, I don't need a woman in my life at all. If that's what you mean. The term partner is a bit vague.
TraciWorld · 22-25, F
Has a great sense of humor
Excellent personal hygiene
Fantastic LOVER
Fatalice · 41-45, F
Someone caring and patience who will look after me and spoil me
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Plasticbag · 100+, M
Emotional intelligence, maturity, fun, companionship
Fa8393 · 41-45, M
Loyalty , respect, and obedient
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@Fa8393 You expect a partner to obey you?
Fa8393 · 41-45, M
@REMsleep yes I want her to know what is expected of her .
Donotfolowme · 51-55, F
He should love, respect and understand me.
Donotfolowme · 51-55, F
@REMsleep I have found one and got married.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@Donotfolowme So glad for you. I love to hear about good marriages. We need couple like you to show others it came be done.
Donotfolowme · 51-55, F
@REMsleep Thanks, I appreciate it.
It took a long while. Every relationship needs patience and tolerance. Nobody is perfect and we all are human beings. If we realize this, we would find out a loving, understanding and caring person caring for us.
Humor and honesty
Tracos · 51-55, M
common sense
funxxx707 · 51-55, M
love no pitty
Anniedlr · 26-30, F
A Pulse 😂😂
Justenjoyit · 61-69, M
I have found that if you are just friends with someone you can always get the best out of the both of you and have other friends which do the same, as soon as you take it further it starts to become hard work.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
@Justenjoyit That's ok if you don't have traditional values.
I understand the concept but I personally couldn't do it. My feeling would be hurt.
Relationships are work unfortunately. It takes work to build trust and be vulnerable.
Justenjoyit · 61-69, M
@REMsleep Because I am a very capable person, I have yet to meet anyone who can bring something to the table other than their needs and problems.
Mutual love and appreciation
Plasticbag · 100+, M
@V00doo I’ve ticked all the boxes let’s get married 🥺
Bang5luts · M
Honesty, dedication, faithful, love, affection. For them to be open with me, secure in themselves. Treat others as well as themselves with respect and kindness. And most of all willing to work through whatever comes up.

 
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