I kind a feel like option 2 happened to you… and it was quite rude of them to do that.

Depends on the plan. A few hour after work event, a week should be adequate. Can figure out what works for all. A week event needs a few months notice

If travel has to be involved then always talk it out in advance.

Yes its like having to go thru national security just to get together with my daughter. Frustrating...

In advance if possible. If I'd see a sudden opportunity for a spontaneous event, I'd throw it as a suggestion to see if they could be available.

Umm, the first choice is optimal.

Been renting vans and randomly parking beside their car so I can ambush them with a dark sack over ue head and zipties.

Always a great time!

I'm the queen of this happening to me by family mostly

I always do the first thing because I have to work things out on my end.

The second thing is inexcusable in my opinion and I would erased that person from my life.

I don't expect anyone to still want to be here in the future, not even in five minutes. Marriage taught me not to be the person in the way. So no plans for me. Obviously people have attractions and friendships with each other and obviously don't mind a few dead bodies or crushed ones if that's what it takes.