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Seeking genuine advice or guidance

Recently my husband and I have stepped into a bit of a new world. Primarily around his desire for me to be with other men.

I was with a guy he introduced me to from his gym and the thought or idea of adding another guy to join me and the guy from my husband’s gym to play together sometime

While no real plans have been established since the topic came up I wanted to learn from others who have participated in a threesome. I’m not sure this will happen for certain but I figured it could be good to better understand something like this before fully considering.

Sorry for the bit of a rambling message and would appreciate any advice. And please reserve your judgment, I’ve already received some for being with another man at my husband’s desire

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CarlaMommy · 41-45

I've seen this many times! The husband has a fantasy of getting into the swing life. The failure rate is high! The husband or bf sees his woman getting into it, often in a very high state of arousal due to the situation, and he ends up crashing! I've seen grown men sit in the corner an emotional wreck! I've seen them run out of the room and break down crying! Even drag their wifes away from the situation that they didn't want, but we're enjoying. I'd say more than half the time it turns into an emotional mess.

My ex husband and I were in the life for about 10 years.

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CarlaMommy · 41-45

@VeronicaJane No, he just woke up one day and lost all interest in being married, having sex, living with his wife and two children. He lost all his interest in life. He turned 40 and hit the wall we hear so much about with women.

VeronicaJane

@CarlaMommy that must have been quite a shock for you, and I imagine hard on the kids. We may hear about women turning 40 and 'hitting the wall', but equal opportunity for men doesn't make it right. Hope you are coping and doing well in the aftermath.

CarlaMommy · 41-45

@VeronicaJane everything is very good! I'm very lucky.

PoetryNEmotion · F

Often the idea of having more than one partner in a marriage sounds great. Until it is done. Often the husband learns that his wife enjoys it far more than he could ever imagine. You may just want a swinger's lifestyle. Multiple partners. Some basic online research can get you the answers you seek. I do not have a good article handy. Some may include what can I do if I develop feelings for one of my partners? How can I or my spouse deal with jealousy? How often should we communicate about this to each other? Once a week? Only when needed? How do I prevent STDs? Does my partner have the option of saying I cannot have sex with someone I choose? How do we want to treat this exactly as something hidden from our family and friends and work or are we going to be open if asked? So many questions. People will judge you. Going outside your main relationship is not what society supports. Are you getting enough satisfying sex with your spouse? Is this an attempt to "fix" marital problems?

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PoetryNEmotion · F

@SatinPetals You can ask, but people are entitled to their opinions. You are not mainstream; therefore, people will have strong opinions. Perhaps you also have a higher sex drive. Lits of men do not and this is another reason why they encourage additional partners. Just be safe. Ask questions. Maintain open communication. Have fun.

SatinPetals · 36-40, F

@PoetryNEmotion fair point and thank you again!!

VeronicaJane

@PoetryNEmotion great points! Nicely said. :-)

Cabernetfranc · 80-89, M

My wife of 25 years came with two established sexual relationships which she continued until the death of one partner and health problems with the other. We found the “Lifestyle” very rewarding.

PoetryNEmotion · F

@Cabernetfranc Maybe decades and decades ago this was exciting and doable. Now it is mostly not. Very few people can handle the complexities of more than one partner in an established relationship.

Cabernetfranc · 80-89, M

@PoetryNEmotion I have aged out of the Lifestyle, but I would like younger couples like SatinPetals to experience non-monogamy. You and I should not take over this discussion, but if you would like to talk gardening, PM me.

Morefun · 51-55, MNew

Go for it, trust me the women get the attention and possibly a big surprise, I love watching my my getting fucked hard and fast , afterwards we have the best sex ever

walabby · M

Two guys? A threesome?? If this keeps progressing you'll end up with a gangbang... 🤔

VeronicaJane

Your husband broached the idea. You said you were shocked when hubby first brought up the idea of another man, given hubby's insecurities. Are you interested in the idea of a MFM, or curious?

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SatinPetals · 36-40, F

@VeronicaJane I think it’s safe to say I am curious about the idea

pdockal · 56-60, M

All depends on the participants
Sounds like you don't want hubby involved

After your MMF would you desire a FFM or FFF etc ?

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