Replace movie quotes with something WAY funnier...

*lights a cigarette*

Bond...Bail Bonds

"I'm gonna make him a coffin he can't refuse." The Godfather (1972)
(The original is "offer")☺️

ET phone pizza

🎶🎵🎶 The hills are aliiiiiive...
and it's pretty frighteniiiiing... 🎵🎶🎵........

They're coming to hug you Barbara!!!

Ring of Vindaloo

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with a happy meal and a nice Shirley Temple."

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't turn into a sexual pun."

Were going to need a bigger moat

"Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful hook-up."

Ill be Back!
after i pick up some Ice cream

"Elementary, my dear Biden."

"Well are ya' gonna pull those pistols or whistle "I Enjoy Being A Girl?""

here's looking at you, birthing person.

"May the farce be with you."

Momma always said life was a box of cat litter full of cat turds

You want candy?
I think I’m entitled to candy!
You want sugar?
You bet I do!!

You’re diabetic! You can’t handle the sugar!!!

Better yet, reverse the pronouns in a movie dialogue

Why so cereal?

I would have had John Connor have "Hasta la vista" and "Baby" as components of separate examples he taught the terminator of how to speak

"fat, drunk and stupid IS the way to go through life son"

"Well are you gonna pull on that penis or whistle Dixie?" Outlaw Josey Wales

originally it was "Are you gonna pull them pistols or whistle Dixie?

Lame? I really wanted to participate but couldn't think of a thing.

Welcome to the orgy of violence, pal

My mama always said life was like a box of shit. You never know what you're gonna get.