I must be a sociopath

I swear at the funeral I felt nothing, NOTHING. Devoid of emotion all the time. I mean. I'm more likely to feel something if one of my sisters is crying but usually? Nothing. I remember at rehab they wanted to ask what I was feeling before the group thing. I was always like, apathy? Apparently they didn't like that. And I had to invent an emotion to appease them. Heck that's why I drank, so I could feel something. It could stem from me stamping down emotions in high school when I learned my family were homophobes. But.eh. at least I don't use crafted emotions to control others. I'd rather be myself. A pissed off gay dude who feels nothing. Just a rant

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Fishy · 36-40, F

I mean, not feeling doesn't mean you're necessarily a sociopath.

I'm more or less getting the vibe that you feel emotions but just don't express what you really feel because you don't feel it's strategic to your situation

and you drink so you can let yourself feel what you REALLY feel.

You don't use these crafted emotions to manipulate others, but you use this crafted emotion to prevent yourself from being manipulated

but it could just be a hunch I have, I dunno