Anyone with past trauma/PTSD

Do you find it hard to figure out what you WANT in Life? I think I got so used to barely scraping by, barely surviving day to day , that I did accept anything. Even a bad toxic environment, low treatment from friend or family. Just accepted it not to rock the boat and try to have even a shred of peace.
Do you find it hard to dream big? Take risks etc? I feel I barely deserved anything in life due to abuse, so any really GOOD thing in life seems unattainable. 😢

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calicuz · 56-60, M

While I've never been diagnosed, I can relate to you. I put up with a lot of belittling from blood relatives, all in the name of peace, and to have someone to socialize with. Once I broke away from them, I felt no obligation to let them treat me as so.
It did take a huge life changing experience, and that was my son being born. I was solely committed to my wife and protecting him from people who weren't genuine at that time. I still have a ways to go before he's mature enough to understand things like that.
I do feel a sense of calm, now that I focus on my family.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@calicuz Sorry you also dealt with unsavory experiences with family. I still get "why don't you call me?" From a couple relatives, making me feel more guilty. I want to say, Gee I don't know, maybe if you didn't patronize me every time we talked or look down on me , just a thought 😯😧
it's tough to ever put my needs first. I can for others , but now I'm very burnt out😢