Anyone with past trauma/PTSD

Do you find it hard to figure out what you WANT in Life? I think I got so used to barely scraping by, barely surviving day to day , that I did accept anything. Even a bad toxic environment, low treatment from friend or family. Just accepted it not to rock the boat and try to have even a shred of peace.
Do you find it hard to dream big? Take risks etc? I feel I barely deserved anything in life due to abuse, so any really GOOD thing in life seems unattainable. 😢