I Have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

No one gives a damn about anyone.
Everyone, people you know, agencies, friends, family.
Everyone always says:
I'm here for you.
Just reach out.
I'm here to listen.
Etc....
Then they completly ignore, and avoid you at all cost when you do reach out.
The only reason they do end up helping/being there for / with anything
Is because...

1. They are getting paied to do so

2. They are getting or wanting to get something out of the situation.

3. They have a audience, that they are trying to look good for.

4. They need to check off their "good deed" for the day/week/month/year.

5. They need something to disscuss, and brag about to theur social circle.

6. They need to do something, so they can post it all over social media. To get patted on the back. The "Look what I did Syndrome"

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Heartlander · 80-89, M

As the saying goes: "Any port in a storm."

My take on paid help agencies is that their motivation is a blend of both paycheck and care. If it's just a paycheck they quickly move on to do something else. If it's all about caring, it's easier to care without having to put up with agencies who sign the paycheck :)

Here's a twist: Ask someone what you can do for them? How can you help them? What do they need? It's a quick way to lose your own sense of neediness. Make it a 2 way street.

SituationalSloth · 36-40, F

@Heartlander Yes, that's good advice.
Until it becomes unhealthy.
Which is where I am. I go the extra mile always. Not saying I won't continue to do so. But theres certian people who won't get that luxury from me anymore.
ME: Doing 100% of contacting. 100% of the traveling. Plus more.

When I was forced by illness to step back and stop. I was unable to do the majority of things I was regulary doing for people.

In which caused them to react. Some almost throwing fits. And trying to manipulate or force me back into doing things. Even though they know I could not.

Yes, some codependent stuff in there. Along with shame, guilt, and so much more.

Since stepping back. I hear from absolutely No One.
No calls, no texts, no social media. Nothing.

Have I reached out to them.
YES
Numerous times.
What reaponses did I get?
- F*** Off
- Complete Silence
- Ureturned Calls
- Unreturned texts
- If you come do this then we can hang out etc..
- If you just do this...
- I don't have time for you anymore
- *Knock on their door* can see them. I am aware they know I'm there... *ignored*
- Avoidance
- When they do answer. I don't even get a word in. They tell me all their problems. Which is ok. But come on.
- Professionals
- Most are just lousy. Should not have their jobs.
- They beat around the bush.
- Even though I bluntly say ****** they find a way to avoid the topic.
- so much more
Things very very very rarely go ok fir me

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

@SituationalSloth honestly your experience sounds just like mine. I just stopped trying and accepted the fact that I can only depend on myself from now on.

Heartlander · 80-89, M

@SituationalSloth

I can well validate your experiences. I've worked in and around enough government help agencies, and enough outreach groups to see their "mission" as often being secondary to personal interests.

:) drive through the parking lot of practically any government agency at 2 p.m. on a Friday afternoon to see how few staff employees didn't get an early start for the weekend.

But then again, given the chance to clip a Friday short, I would likewise be tempted :)

Per the "any port in a storm" reference, the personal dedication of the emergency room staff isn't always as important as their ability to help me ... to properly diagnose and treat me when I get wheeled into their emergency room. For me, it's emotionally soothing enough to realize that when they launched their careers, they were likely motivated by compassion; and in reality, I would hope that neither their emotions nor their personal interests would interfere with their clear thinking and attentive skill as they treat me.

Likewise for agencies and organizations that are there to help people, and friends, etc.

For me, it helps overcome that "being ignored" feeling by meeting people on an equal level at the moment. Just like a good waitress, waiter, flight attendant, or doorman (or woman) at a good hotel knows how to tap into an otherwise impersonal meeting and turn it personal. A good font-end exchange will hopefully help us both see one another as friendly and non-threatening human. To keep in practice I do so with counter staff, cashiers at the supermarket, etc. Heck, on my last doctor visit I think I learned more about him than he learned about me.

SituationalSloth · 36-40, F

@DearAmbellina2113 it's a harsh, and hurtful reality