Big night tonight

So tonight was a pretty big night

Joel and I went to our support group and I shared again. I know I have been making progress but it's slow and sometimes I feel like I'm just running in place. And it sucks because I just want to be better. I don't want to have to try so hard. The the struggle is still there. I know I can't give up but man it would be nice to not have to fight so hard. It was nice to share my struggles with others how know what I'm going through and have been there. I know I have Joel but I'm alot and I know he needs a break from my crazy. So it felt good to share.

We come home to watch the game and the boys want to watch the game downstairs in the game room. This wasn't the plan for the night. But I don't blame them my buddy got all the new stuff down there I know they want to check it out

I asked Sissy what she wanted to do. I even told her I'd stay upstairs and we'd watch the game.

I could see the struggle and I was about to tell the boys we'd plan a day next week when they got back but she surprised me

She said yes. So we went down there. She took a book and her air pods. It's the first time she's gone downstairs. Everything was set up. The tv, the fireplace, her beanbag chair, a weighted blanket. She looked around and she thanked my buddy and made herself comfortable in her new spot.

The royals lost but it was a pretty big night for both of us.

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HootyTheNightOwl

Unfortunately, getting better is a marathon and not a sprint... I really wish that this wasn't the case, but it is.

I've been up and down since April myself. Some days I can eat two sandwiches, other days, chocolate is a victory.

How are you doing with the "picnic" idea??? Did you try an indoor picnic yet???

Cigarguy · M

@HootyTheNightOwl
Yeah someday I just wish I didn't have to work so hard at it.

yes we do that alot and I do eat better when we do. But some meals are to messy and the kids have to sit at the breakfast bar to eat. That's when I struggle. I try to eat standing up but it's still a trigger for me. But I've been doing good with the protein shakes but they kill my stomach. I actually gained a little weight this week. Big step for me

HootyTheNightOwl

@Cigarguy If the picnic idea helps you... maybe you could have them eat at the breakfast bar and set yourself up a one/two man picnic close by???

That way the mess is confined to the breakfast bar and you're still able to eat and tic away if it happens.

If you have to, you can always frame it as a medical allowance to enable you to eat more food. It's not that much different to needing some time out from an overwhelming environment - the only difference is that the breakfast bar is overwhelming for you right now.

Cigarguy · M

@HootyTheNightOwl that is a good idea. I will try that.

HootyTheNightOwl

@Cigarguy If you can get by on your own or with just Joel on the blanket with you, knowing that the children are safe at the breakfast bar locally to where you've laid out your blanket or oilcloth, you might still be able to eat on the ground.

Depending on the layout of your home, you might even be able to do it in a way where you can maintain your usual meal time routine with chatting and whatever, too.

If mess is your only concern, you could try swapping the blanket for a tarpaulin that you can wipe or spray down afterwards and accept that some littles are going to need a change of clothes after they eat, too.

Cigarguy · M

@HootyTheNightOwl that sounds like a very nice plan.

It's amazing how messy those boys can be eating lol.

Cigarguy · M

@HootyTheNightOwl I have ordered a large waterproof picnic blanket to start using so we can not be as worried about the mess.

We do have to stay close to our oldest boy because he needs help with his food some days. He'll tell us his hand aren't working so good. We also have to remind him to only take one bite at a time.

HootyTheNightOwl

@Cigarguy I'm glad that I was able to say something to make you revisit this and see if there was a way that might help you and your family.

If the children are young enough, you might be able to cut down on some of the laundry on messy days by having them wear those smocks they sell to wear for painting activities, too.

I admit that I was a bit worried about you not being able to see the children above you when I first suggested you try staying on your picnic blanket on the ground because that seemed important to you - though I wasn't certain why until you just explained why.

Cigarguy · M

@HootyTheNightOwl obviously our oldest daughter doesn't make a mess

But our oldest needs help and does need help. And yes the choking risk is high. He's not to messy though because he's a slow eater

Our youngest he's just a tiny tornado no matter what he's doing. He's just all over the place and gets in a hurry to do something or tell me something. Depending on the meal I'll even take his shirt off to try and help. And we do have bibs for them as well. And also when I talk about the mess it's also the dishes I use to cook the meal that causes me anxiety. I'm working on that with my neurologist but it's not going well.

HootyTheNightOwl

@Cigarguy I struggled with hand to eye co-ordination and keeping food on utensils as a child, so I understand how being a messy eater could come into play (mine probably wasn't helped by the fact I broke my collarbone in my formative years - I also didn't connect it to autism until very recently... it was just another "failing" on my part as a child when I needed help)... especially if he has stiff hands.

Cigarguy · M

@HootyTheNightOwl he has low muscle tone and not the best fine motor skills when it comes to helping utensils. Neither of our boys are on the spectrum only our daughter is

HootyTheNightOwl

@Cigarguy In mentioning autism, I'm speaking from my own experience... that's all I can really do.