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I Battle Depression

I had a good day with my wife, she came on a long drive with me and she had a really good time. I was able to make her laugh often and a few times she laughed well and long. I wish I was able to be happy and laugh, it would be nice if someone could give me something to be hopeful for.
PeachesF
I've read all the comments here and my heart goes out to you. This is a tuff situation with no easy answers. Thank goodness for our memories, no one can take them away鉂p煒斺瓙My prayers are with you and your wife,馃檹馃徏馃懠I believe you will see her again, I think we will all be together again in a much better place.馃挮
Gingersnapped61-69, F
My mom had ALS...the best days were the ones that we were able to get her to smile or laugh. Wish other people understood that the mind is still clear as a bell, it's the body that is the traitor. My thoughts and prayers are with you. But I also know how hard it was for me personally. I felt guilty and angry and sad and depressed. I knew that I shouldn't have been focusing on myself but some days I just wanted to hold my own pity party. It's normal! Hang in there.
Smileandwave46-50, F
Why are u feeling unhopeful? Sounds like u had a nice day!?
gmatthewb51-55, M
@Coralmist I have talked with my wife about this as she wants me to be happy as well. I keep telling her to focus on herself, she has the terminal illness after all. I ask every now and then if my depression is getting in the way of taking care of her the best way I can. She always tells me that I am doing much more for her than she could ever wish. I see that as I am doing all I can for her and my issues are not getting in the way. For me, I feel kind of useless if I am not doing something for someone else to make their lives better. I go out of my way to make others happy at my own expense some times.

First thing that came to my mind when I read what you wrote was...I can relate with how you feel if things get too good in life, and then I thought about how I could do or say something that could make you feel a little better about yourself.

I think I am just hardwired this way.
Coralmist41-45, F
Thanks for the kind words G.. she is very lucky to have you and you are NEVER useless EVEN if you were not making someone's life better each day. Everyone here has their own way of contributing to another, and you already exceed it :)_ So do not feel BADLY if you want something like joy or even some time for YOU. I wish you the very best and I know you'l get through anything in life- she'll always be with you, too 馃槈
gmatthewb51-55, M
@Coralmist I do try to remind myself that I am not useless, that is not easy some times as I am sure you could understand. I do get a lot of time for me though as my wife does nap a lot and she doesn't need me all the time. My biggest problem is that as much as I do for her to keep her cheerful, I do wish I had someone to do that for me some times.

Thank you for your wishes.
MsMontgomery51-55, F
Are you taking medication to help with the depression? It sounds like you have your hands full helping everyone else. It's so sad to hear about your wife!
gmatthewb51-55, M
@MsMontgomery I have talked to my wife a few times about this. She says that my depression is not getting in the way of how I take care of her. I am still able to make her laugh often and comfort her when she cries. The only thing I cannot help her with is how sad she is that she cannot do anything to help me be happy. I remind her that she has the terrible disease, so she doesn't have to do anything for me.
MsMontgomery51-55, F
@gmatthewb there is no magical pill to alleviate all symptoms, but I'm confident there is an antidepressant that can help....I did think you wanted help, based on your writing this story.
... I wish you happiness and peace, with whatever choices you make.
gmatthewb51-55, M
@MsMontgomery Ideally I would like a friend to chat with about things to help take my mind off all the sad stuff. Kind of to give me a break. Nobody in my family wants to talk with me and the few friends I have don't talk much at all, they seem to be more interested in wishing me well and getting on with their days. It would just be nice to have someone who knew me a little to help cheer me up at times.

Thank you for your wishes. I hope all is well with you and your family.

 
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