I Battle Depression

@Coralmist I have talked with my wife about this as she wants me to be happy as well. I keep telling her to focus on herself, she has the terminal illness after all. I ask every now and then if my depression is getting in the way of taking care of her the best way I can. She always tells me that I am doing much more for her than she could ever wish. I see that as I am doing all I can for her and my issues are not getting in the way. For me, I feel kind of useless if I am not doing something for someone else to make their lives better. I go out of my way to make others happy at my own expense some times.

First thing that came to my mind when I read what you wrote was...I can relate with how you feel if things get too good in life, and then I thought about how I could do or say something that could make you feel a little better about yourself.

I think I am just hardwired this way.

Thanks for the kind words G.. she is very lucky to have you and you are NEVER useless EVEN if you were not making someone's life better each day. Everyone here has their own way of contributing to another, and you already exceed it :)_ So do not feel BADLY if you want something like joy or even some time for YOU. I wish you the very best and I know you'l get through anything in life- she'll always be with you, too 😉

@Coralmist I do try to remind myself that I am not useless, that is not easy some times as I am sure you could understand. I do get a lot of time for me though as my wife does nap a lot and she doesn't need me all the time. My biggest problem is that as much as I do for her to keep her cheerful, I do wish I had someone to do that for me some times.

Thank you for your wishes.

@MsMontgomery I have talked to my wife a few times about this. She says that my depression is not getting in the way of how I take care of her. I am still able to make her laugh often and comfort her when she cries. The only thing I cannot help her with is how sad she is that she cannot do anything to help me be happy. I remind her that she has the terrible disease, so she doesn't have to do anything for me.

@gmatthewb there is no magical pill to alleviate all symptoms, but I'm confident there is an antidepressant that can help....I did think you wanted help, based on your writing this story.
... I wish you happiness and peace, with whatever choices you make.

@MsMontgomery Ideally I would like a friend to chat with about things to help take my mind off all the sad stuff. Kind of to give me a break. Nobody in my family wants to talk with me and the few friends I have don't talk much at all, they seem to be more interested in wishing me well and getting on with their days. It would just be nice to have someone who knew me a little to help cheer me up at times.

Thank you for your wishes. I hope all is well with you and your family.