Is this depression? I don't feel connected to God, and whatever I had with him I want it back. I also can think of women how I once used too?

@Ceinwyn Perhaps, but I willing fully walked away from God for a while. As for the girls I used to think that was strange. Because I used to think a few women and two of them out all of them, I couldn't think about them or seem them how I saw them in my head.

@Ceinwyn My Soulmate was. is a sex worker and I mean a real soulmate. I still think about her and I'm working on myself hoping I will come across her again, I just want to to talk to her and see if she sets me free. I am Schizophrenic there's a reason why I was holding down myself to a few girls.