I’m waiting to die
I’ve got my suicide method prepared and I’ve looked at it every single day since. I’ve wasted the last 15 years of my life battling my mental illness. All the medications and hundreds of hours of therapy haven’t helped me in the long term.
My whole life I’ve been unwanted and unloved. My parents treat me like a responsibility or an object and not like their daughter. They treat me like an extension of themselves and whenever I’ve tried to be my own person they shut me down. My deadbeat father has choked me and physically abused me in the past. My alcoholic mother has told me to kill myself once before.
I have nearly no friends and I’ve never had a successful romantic relationship. Again and again I get ghosted and abandoned. I don’t know if it’s because I’m ugly or socially awkward or whatever. But after dealing with it for so long, I’ve decided to accept that I am unwanted and not needed by anyone.
All my life I’ve only been pulled towards death and I’m done fighting it. I’m going to make sure my younger sister is taken care off first and then I’m killing myself.
My whole life I’ve been unwanted and unloved. My parents treat me like a responsibility or an object and not like their daughter. They treat me like an extension of themselves and whenever I’ve tried to be my own person they shut me down. My deadbeat father has choked me and physically abused me in the past. My alcoholic mother has told me to kill myself once before.
I have nearly no friends and I’ve never had a successful romantic relationship. Again and again I get ghosted and abandoned. I don’t know if it’s because I’m ugly or socially awkward or whatever. But after dealing with it for so long, I’ve decided to accept that I am unwanted and not needed by anyone.
All my life I’ve only been pulled towards death and I’m done fighting it. I’m going to make sure my younger sister is taken care off first and then I’m killing myself.
