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Internally screaming

I usually use a different blog site but I am trying something new! Sorry for the long post!
I have recently stopped taking my zoloft. I was only on 100mg so it wasn't to much, but definitely enough to give me the "brain zaps" after stopping cold turkey.
I should have weaned off but i didnt think it would be enough to effect anything. I was on it for anxiety, this time.
The last time i was on it, it was for depression and it was only 25mg.
The reason i stopped this time is because my cardiologist thought it was causing me to have high heart rate. Me and my husband also want to try and have another baby and I wouldn't be able to take it if i get pregnant. (I have PCOS so i cant get pregy like the other girls)
ANYWAYS after the "brain zaps" have stopped i am now just feeling..... idk. I really dk how to explain it.
Iykyk! 🤣
My brain is literally screaming, while my face is smiling and my eyes want to cry. I am stressed, but of course I am, ITS CHRISTMAS! 😅
My job is also ok now. I work for a company that I can work from home, if Im perfect, but I feel like I'm not perfect enough for it. I am trying so hard at this easiest job I have. Yet it is not enough. And the company has a big turn around and I can see why, they only have 10 operators including me. I think it upsets me more, because i was in love with this job for the first 2 months LOL. Yes I am still doing everything they say, I am working everyday to get up to the perfect call score to stay remote. But the stress of trying so hard is killing me LOL. To me I was getting a perfect score. To better explain call scores need to be at 90% my score is 80%. I take about 50-60 calls a day and if i do not say "please" in 1 call it drops my score down 5%. I am not exaggerating.
ANYWAYS LOL It was probably a bad time to stop the meds.
I like to write down how I'm feeling, it definitely makes me feel better.
WOOOO A big scream would help too though LOL.
Thanks for listening to my little rant. 💜
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Ananke · 26-30, F
Well hopefully you learned to wean off next time! Some meds can even be lethal to come off of cold turkey so it's always good to work with a doctor!