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Internally screaming

I usually use a different blog site but I am trying something new! Sorry for the long post!
I have recently stopped taking my zoloft. I was only on 100mg so it wasn't to much, but definitely enough to give me the "brain zaps" after stopping cold turkey.
I should have weaned off but i didnt think it would be enough to effect anything. I was on it for anxiety, this time.
The last time i was on it, it was for depression and it was only 25mg.
The reason i stopped this time is because my cardiologist thought it was causing me to have high heart rate. Me and my husband also want to try and have another baby and I wouldn't be able to take it if i get pregnant. (I have PCOS so i cant get pregy like the other girls)
ANYWAYS after the "brain zaps" have stopped i am now just feeling..... idk. I really dk how to explain it.
Iykyk! 馃ぃ
My brain is literally screaming, while my face is smiling and my eyes want to cry. I am stressed, but of course I am, ITS CHRISTMAS! 馃槄
My job is also ok now. I work for a company that I can work from home, if Im perfect, but I feel like I'm not perfect enough for it. I am trying so hard at this easiest job I have. Yet it is not enough. And the company has a big turn around and I can see why, they only have 10 operators including me. I think it upsets me more, because i was in love with this job for the first 2 months LOL. Yes I am still doing everything they say, I am working everyday to get up to the perfect call score to stay remote. But the stress of trying so hard is killing me LOL. To me I was getting a perfect score. To better explain call scores need to be at 90% my score is 80%. I take about 50-60 calls a day and if i do not say "please" in 1 call it drops my score down 5%. I am not exaggerating.
ANYWAYS LOL It was probably a bad time to stop the meds.
I like to write down how I'm feeling, it definitely makes me feel better.
WOOOO A big scream would help too though LOL.
Thanks for listening to my little rant. 馃挏
NO COLD TURKEY! You can start looking for a new job while you still have this one and you can put off having a baby. You have to start with your own mental health. If you just quit expect some really crazy dreams. If you believe you don't need the meds don't take them. They are only affective for about 40% of all people that take them. They have bigtime side affects. They could be as addictive as opiods. They change the way you think. Exercise is a better anti anxiety medication than zoloft is. HOWEVER you could be one of the people a maintenance dose can help. Keep a jounal of how you feel. They will try anything for depression these days including ketamine. Look up ketamine. Matt Perry died from a ketamine overdose. I have been on antidepressants for years and the side affects are worse than the original problem.
Hush9226-30, F
Well hopefully you learned to wean off next time! Some meds can even be lethal to come off of cold turkey so it's always good to work with a doctor!

 
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