Getting worse and worse

My depression is getting so bad all I want to do is lay in bed and cry. I’m so alone and feel completely unwanted by everyone around me. I’m going to therapy and it’s not really helping and I still feel do empty and alone.
I wish I could feel appreciated and loved

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reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M

I use to suffer a lot from depressionfrom 15 to 30, I am not really cured because it could come back if I'm not careful, there is a series I things that I do that keep depression away and if I become neglectful and don't do these things it starts coming back. here they are, in order of importance:
- I pay close attention to how much carbs and sugar I eat. I almost never eat pasta, I eat something sweet about once a week, my rice or potato portions around 100-120 g for one meal.
-I exercise almost every day, if I go more than a day or two without exercising I start getting depressed
-I pay attention to being hydrated, if I don't i start getting depressed
-i pay close attention to what thought patterns cause anxiety and helplessness. I think of things i can change and try to make peace with things I can't change. not accepting reality is a fight that cannot be won. my motto is what occupies my mind should be voluntary and useful. I don't HAVE to be thinking of past things that frustrate me. its my mind, I choose carefully how i use it.
- i always have something to look forward to: a trip or an activity or the completion of a project. I call it my carrot. like a hamster in a wheel, if I have a carrot to run towards I can just go non-stop. the moment i've done my thing I was waiting for, I invent another objective. right now I have a ski trip in february and then I'm gonna go spend a month or two in Peru with my GF.
-sleep is important, for this I avoid stressful thinking in the evening because it disrupts the production of melatonin. I also take magnesium regularly, helps tension and sleep.
-P.S: forgot a very important one: meditation. It reminds me of who i am, my true self, everything else is impermanent. (true self--see "Ramana Maharshi", if this isnt clear I can explain it more.)