I Battle Depression

I think one of the most frustrating aspects of battling depression is that many people do not understand exactly detrimental it is on your life. Many times, I'm hesitant to mention it to people because I don't want to be the ob<x>ject of ridicule for the next hour. Some people will say things like, "I'm sorry that you are sad, but just try to be happy."
Sure thing, I'll just tell my brain to stop mucking about in the abyssal depths of misery and sorrow; that there's no time for pain and suffering today. I know they mean well, but unless you've experienced it firsthand; it's difficult to comprehend how crippling is the disease of depression.
My wife doesn't get it, or maybe she just doesn't care. She tells me to get over it. That many people are sad, and that a lot of people have the same feelings I do. There is no doubt that many people are fighting depression. I see countless others on this group that share a similar fate, and I grieve for them.
However, just knowing that others are also suffering does not bring me respite. Seeing others writhe in endless agony does not quell the relentless screams for absolution. If anything, this has an adverse effect; it only serves to compound my own infernal damnation.
My mind desperately pleads for an end to the incessant abuse, and torment. I constantly have to block out the cries to end this pathetic existence. How should I be relieved that so many others share this curse?
I would like to apologize if this has hurt or upset anyone, but I just find it frustrating when people belittle or downplay the amount of pain we endure. I sincerely wish I could take everyone's pain away so that none would have to suffer the way I do, but I'm just one miserable soul and can only do so much.

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Moltencorgi2

People with depression have it hard wired into their brains. It's like an alcoholic with their drinking, or a gambler with gambling: it will never go away. I don't mean to be such a Debbie Downer, but it's our brain sabotaging us. We can cope with it, manage it, learn of it, etc, but it will always be there waiting.
I thought I could get over it once I had a stable job and a few goals in life but it's never as easy as just keeping the brain occupied. Plus, it came back with a vengeance once I was out of a job again.

DarkestDespair · 46-50, M

Oh definitely, I would venture to say that many of us suffer from chemical imbalances that alter our perception. I know that I personally have that problem, and have spotty results from medication. Either, they don't work or they work entirely too well, and I'm a zombie. I was able to find something natural that helped with my depression that didn't cause me to be comatose, but it is illegal where I live and I couldn't remain employed with it.

Moltencorgi2

What was your occupation? Was it a sophie's choice between not going back into the pit and having the job you studied and prepared for?

DarkestDespair · 46-50, M

I work in a technology sector, but I'm going to face a similar issue just about anywhere I work unless I can move someplace more open-minded with more relaxed laws regarding how people choose to live their lives.

Moltencorgi2

That's the thing, you have a fallback career. Or, to put it more bluntly, you can actually build stuff that people fucking need. You have inherent worth as a person. I just realized that I don't know how to do anything, therefore I have nothing to sell in the job market, ergo I'm useless. I could go to college...AGAIN, for a degree in something useful but, if luck has it, by the time I graduate I'll be too old to be attractive to employers, meaning that I will have wasted my whole 20's in being as useful as a sack of rocks. Oh well, hopefully, by the time the economy recovers there will be a sulprus of desk jockey positions. The lesson here: math and economics are pointless degrees and college is a scam.