I Am Depressed

I should have jumped. If only the blade was sharper when I tried. Why did I fail. Why do I have to live in this hell I call life. Why is death the only happy thought. Why am I here. Why can’t I just fall asleep and never wake up. The new year approaches meaning another year of hell. Of being alone. And losing hope and faith. Maybe I’ll die, maybe, that’s my hope and what brings me joy.