I Battle Depression and Anxiety

My Depression... I take pills to battle depression; I take pills to sleep; I take pills for chronic pain; I take pills for thyroid hormone replacement.  I take all of these, yet I am still depressed and dark-mooded routinely.  I have nightmares about my father abusing me sexually, and I end up losing sleep because of it.  Short sleep, nightmares and facing my abuse leaves me teeming with anxiety.  I grind my teeth all day long and now have started shaving constantly, and not just my face.   I have this compelling urge to be clean shaven all over my body.  Makes me feel very weird, knowing I am doing that and succumbing further to OCD.  Every day is a battleground for me; one in which I must fight to be a good husband and father.  My anxiety skyrockets when I lose the battle and am short and angry with my wife and kids; I think they will just pack up and leave, like my father did and like my first wife did.  Tonight I am angry at myself for self deprecating humor and inward facing anger. 

I think tonight (or this morning, rather) will suck...