I Battle Depression

Ugh... I hate to admit it, but it's back.

I've been doing so good now, for nearly two years, but after the traumatizing ending of my last relationship, I'm left terrified, anxious, and just "low" in general. It's not that I want him back. I definitely don't want that. Just thinking about it makes my chest tighten up.

I'm not even sure why I'm feeling depressed right now. Maybe because I blame myself for everything that happened? Allowing him to do the things he did to me?... Maybe because everything's different now and I have to rebuild who I am... Maybe it's because I'm realizing that I have like zero friends...

I don't know. I feel like I'm going to puke though. Everything hurts. My brain, my chest. There's just these enormous amount of pressure in the center of my chest. It hurts to breathe.

My legs are weak and my hands are shaky. My thoughts are racing and I just feel this overwhelming since of sadness inside me.

If anyone has any tips or words of support, please message me or reply here. I'm feeling really alone right now. It's 3:30am, tried texting a few of my friends, but all of them are asleep.