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For those who have felt hopeless

Whether about yourself or hopeless about a goal, or love etc..
I was reading an article in Psychology Today magazine. The title of the article is "Don't be a Victim of Your Past". By Scott Barry Kaufman.
It talked about first learned helplessness. That trauma can wire our brain to feel we simply cannot imagine or live any other life or reality than the one we have. The one that feels stuck. They did experiments with dogs who learned to stay imprisoned even when they were free to escape.
I liked this quote, " Our future expectations of life are based mostly on our prior experiences. When we cultivate experiences that provide us with more empowered messages about life and our abilities, that becomes what we expect out of life..." And it goes on to say our brain is like a reporter. Only it doesn't fact check. It only makes predictions.
This gives us all hope, that our brain or past trauma is not permanent. And hope and a different reality IS possible. 🌻🌷💕It's something I REALLY needed to see.
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JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
In my case, I have worked at the same place for 26 years, and know nothing else. I may get fired this year due to downsizing. Or I may just quit due to gross mismanagement.

It is scary. I never have been in this situation before. Yes, at times I had hated my job or management, but part of this was just not liking working for a living, which I could not shake unless I married a rich woman 😁. So I had to live with it. As for poor management, I could just wait until they retired or left themselves. Turnover was my friend.

Yet now even the good managers want to retire early, due to poor managers above them, all the way to the top. It gets worse higher up, ending with the worst of all.

Now, I know the bad top will have turnover, but this time I am not sure I can wait, either due to being fired (obviously) or due to the situation becoming intolerable. It is not bad, yet, but promises to get worse.

For the first time in 26 years I am considering drafting my resume. And here, I thought the only thing I would ever have to do is draft a goodbye letter after announcing my retirement. I just wanted to wind down, finish my time, and fade away. Now decisions are being thrust upon me which I am not ready for.

It is so stressful.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@JoyfulSilence I guess we just have to pivot.. sometimes from an original plan. But the new path could be better, perhaps. With your credentials you won't have much issue finding a different position if you needed to.
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
@Coralmist

Yes, I know I have desirable skills and experience.

But now I will be competing with peers who were fired or left for the same reasons, and competing with younger people who are more tech-savvy. And AI will slowly replace a lot of us someday, too.

Our office dress code was casual. I have no dress shirts anymore (I grew out of them and gave them to charity) and have not worn a tie in decades. I really do not want to have to buy a new wardrobe, LOL! But we shall see. And I wonder if I should start shaving again? Ugh.

Most likely I will stick it out, and only leave when I get fired. It seems the easiest. I am willing to put up with crap, and not ready to switch jobs. And most people around me and above me are dealing with the same crap.
Great post!
This is related to what I have tried to tell many broken ppl here...
SW-User
I love this, it’s so true. 🌷🧚‍♀✨
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
Yes! Please remember that quote.
powernap · 56-60, M
Can you please tell me what issue of Psychology Today that quote is found in? Thank you.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@powernap Sure, it's the April 2025 issue.(yellow cover)
powernap · 56-60, M
@Coralmist thank you.
Banksy83 · 41-45, M
@powernap look on YouTube

 
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