Everyone is a mental health professional until it means actually helping someone.

I hope there comes a day when people stop assuming they understand each other's issues and start listening, really listening, like stfu and listen.

Nobody needs you to fix them.

Nobody needs your unofficial diagnosis and presumptuous solutions.

Stfu and listen, or you're part of the problem.

Top | New | Old

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

THIS.

I got a little upset last night when a friend was implying that I didn't succeed in school and work because I didn't try hard enough. My situation was almost unbelievably unique, and the odds were stacked against me. Even if I told the story it sounds too far fetched to take seriously.

The point is, people need to stop making slap judgments and realize that not everyone's situation is the same, and hard work is NOT always rewarded.

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@DearAmbellina2113 I have a story that's kinda hard to believe too, and most people can't even fathom the strength it took to survive those circumstances. If they truly understood, they would tell you how awesome and amazing and brave you are to make it through and continue on with life with all that baggage trapped in your head.

Instead when they low key imply weakness and low self esteem as they problem, they simultaneously devalue you and insult you in a way similar to the abuse you experienced.

It's like you never get a chance to get it right ONLY because of what people think of you. You lose all credit for what you did do because someone who can't shut up and listen thinks they understand.

It's absurd. It's perpetuating the abusive narrative.

How the frick do people think we all got the same chances?

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

@ScreamingFox spot on

mindstruggle

I really feel this, and I hope you’re doing okay. You’re so right, it really does make a difference when someone simply shows up and hears you without trying to fix everything. Sending you some calm energy, you deserve to be listened to too. 🤍

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@mindstruggle it would simplify the whole thing and relieve so much pain for so many people.

I believe it's human nature but a lot of people like thinking of themselves as ahead or somehow more deserving. They don't realize what a privilege it is to believe that. And they really should take their two cents about unique situations and individual trauma and throw it in the trash.

Thank you. I'm okay. Better alone. But always sending love to you and others I care about here.

Pretzel · 70-79, M

one of the neatest things I have learned in live (and sometimes actually use it) is to not say "I know now you feel"

No I don't

I can't

You tell me

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@Pretzel Thank you because I HATE that. My ex always used to say that he understood how I felt and he and I both knew very well that he absolutely didn't. I guess they think it's helpful to relate but it just makes the support seem even more fake.

FlowersInHerHair · F

I feel this SO much. 🫂

Elisbch · M

..LOL.. 🤣😄

FoxyQueen · 51-55, F

This is perhaps the most valuable comic that teaches people to ask what is wanted before assuming what is wanted.

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@FoxyQueen I agree, though I think I'm so used to people ignoring me or assuming they can understand and know what I need that I have disconnected from what I actually need.

People never ask those questions. People never participate in the emotional process, they just want you over it so they can get back to only thinking of themselves. In my experience so far anyway.

FoxyQueen · 51-55, F

@ScreamingFox You are correct. No one actually takes the time to just be with someone and listen without interjecting opinions and ideas. It's hard, but active listening is a vital skill for any relationship and it is often just ignored as a needed thing. It makes me sad to know that people don't want to invest more of themselves than providing input and nothing else.

Add a comment...