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NerdyPotato · M
Hopefully not. Anything truly unconditional is forced and unhealthy. That may be due to my literal interpretation of unconditional though.
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NerdyPotato · M
@OlderSometimesWiser I guess love is complicated and multi-faceted. I highly doubt Jeffrey Dahmer's father loved him for being a serial killer. I can accept that he still loved other sides of him despite that though. If you split love into several aspects of someone, I believe love for some can be unconditional while thoroughly despising other aspects of the same person.
@NerdyPotato Unconditional love doesn't mean not having boundaries, though... you don't have to share a home with someone to love them unconditionally.
Even the Catholic Church gives people who live with abuse a way out of the situation.
Even the Catholic Church gives people who live with abuse a way out of the situation.
NerdyPotato · M
@HootyTheNightOwl that's true... But loving someone who abuses you or even unalives you is rather unhealthy. Some things should make you fall out of love.
Starcrossed · 41-45, F
eMortal · M
@Starcrossed wait until a relative of yours treats them better.
RedGrizzly · 26-30, F
Unconditional love does exist when people actually know what it is, let alone what real love is, and strive for it. Unconditional love doesn't mean there's absolutely no boundaries or self love, doesn't that it's a free pass to allow things to happen to you or someone else, doesn't mean you or someone else insist in its own way.
Example: "My parents hate me, are passive aggressive. My brother rejects me and hurts me. I forgive them for their flaws, as I would hope someone to do the same for me. I love them like family but I moved out and on with my own life. I limit my contact with them. I don't expect them to change even though I wish they would. I send them resources to get professional help, even though they act belligerent by which I remove myself from the situation. I pray for them daily. When they need something good, and doesn't harm them or anyone else, I'm happy to give it. If they need or do something that isn't good, I'm quick to call the authorities should they be needed or I withhold my involvement from that and state my reasons why, in hopes they see the error of their ways. Should I not be able to have any relationship with them, I wash my hands from it... although I will attend their funeral, and hopefully before that time, be open to a fresh relationship on terms that establish boundaries and seek out help from the church or professional help so that this relationship remains healthy. Ect..." See how that's different from being a push over? It's assertive but it's not insisting that someone has to make a choice I agree with otherwise I can't love them...instead, it's if they want a healthy relationship. There's unconditional love there for someone who is portrayed to have awful traits and wrong doing regardless. There's also self love to stand up against the injustice and establish boundaries. This is a hypothetical scenario but I wanted to display what unconditional love is amongst ourselves.
Example: "My parents hate me, are passive aggressive. My brother rejects me and hurts me. I forgive them for their flaws, as I would hope someone to do the same for me. I love them like family but I moved out and on with my own life. I limit my contact with them. I don't expect them to change even though I wish they would. I send them resources to get professional help, even though they act belligerent by which I remove myself from the situation. I pray for them daily. When they need something good, and doesn't harm them or anyone else, I'm happy to give it. If they need or do something that isn't good, I'm quick to call the authorities should they be needed or I withhold my involvement from that and state my reasons why, in hopes they see the error of their ways. Should I not be able to have any relationship with them, I wash my hands from it... although I will attend their funeral, and hopefully before that time, be open to a fresh relationship on terms that establish boundaries and seek out help from the church or professional help so that this relationship remains healthy. Ect..." See how that's different from being a push over? It's assertive but it's not insisting that someone has to make a choice I agree with otherwise I can't love them...instead, it's if they want a healthy relationship. There's unconditional love there for someone who is portrayed to have awful traits and wrong doing regardless. There's also self love to stand up against the injustice and establish boundaries. This is a hypothetical scenario but I wanted to display what unconditional love is amongst ourselves.
bijouxbroussard · F
The only "healthy" form is probably between parents and children. Even there, it has the potential to be exploited or abused.
SilentObZerver · 22-25, M
@bijouxbroussard but loving someone just because they are your children.....makes it unconditional?
bijouxbroussard · F
@SilentObZerver No, but continuing to love someone no matter how they behave or what mistakes they make sounds more like the relationship between parents and children.
ElwoodBlues · M
@SilentObZerver Wait until you experience parenthood. I won't say every parent experiences unconditional love for their children, but it's not rare. Personally, if I could save either of my sons by laying down my own life, I'd do it at the drop of a hat. I didn't feel that way towards my parents, but now I understand how they felt about me. It's a pay-it-forward situation.
Matt85 · 36-40, M
for some people
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Matt85 · 36-40, M
@SilentObZerver Maybe
SilentObZerver · 22-25, M
@Matt85 means you dont know if you've experienced it or not?
KingofBones1 · 46-50, M
It does but it's a very rare thing. Unconditional love where someone knows in their heart that they just cannot live without you and you are the one they want in their life no matter what does happen.... But most are lucky to find it once in a lifetime let alone twice.
Morvoren · F
Yes. In my case it comes about though attraction, joint experiences, mutual respect and commitment to each others happiness.
SilentObZerver · 22-25, M
@Morvoren nice!
OogieBoogie · F
I think it does.....but i also think its not emotionally healthy.
It manifests by loving someone without ANY restrictions.
...Which can lead to enabling, abuse, neglect, and self delusion, on both sides.
I mean, its beautiful, but dangerous.
It manifests by loving someone without ANY restrictions.
...Which can lead to enabling, abuse, neglect, and self delusion, on both sides.
I mean, its beautiful, but dangerous.
Spoiledbrat · F
Something close to it yes.
SilentObZerver · 22-25, M
@Spoiledbrat how?
Spoiledbrat · F
@SilentObZerver By understanding them and still loving them. We don't want anything from them. We just love them.
SilentObZerver · 22-25, M
@Spoiledbrat so have you loved someone unconditionally or have you been loved unconditionally?
Beautyinbroken · 36-40, F
Yes 💯 %
SilentObZerver · 22-25, M
@Beautyinbroken hmmm you never believed in the love , you have for him?
Beautyinbroken · 36-40, F
@SilentObZerver nope i never believed i could love someone like i love him just because he is gone my love is just as strong if not stronger
SilentObZerver · 22-25, M
@Beautyinbroken good to hear!
Heartlander · 80-89, M
It manifests as instinctively laughing with the object of your unconditional love, crying with them, being happy with them, sad with them,. All because you are emotionally fused to them.
Different · 31-35, M
It does because i show that but as for finding it in others its rare and only the rare of us have that.
Wallflow3r · 26-30, F
Yes and it comes naturally it never needs an explanation.
Hiyall1t1me · 41-45, M
I think it depends on the conditions around it…
rinkydinkydoink · M
I'd settle for more like and less love.
Only between a mother and child
Elisbch · M
With my dog... YES
With people... NO
With people... NO
eMortal · M
It does exist but can be blind.
ImperialAerosolKidFromEP · 51-55, M
Yes, but it depends on the purity of your definition of "unconditional". I could get humans to withdraw their love from me for any number of reasons. My cats, on the other hand, will love me as long as I feed them and don't do mean things to them. That's pretty close to unconditional
SilentObZerver · 22-25, M
@ImperialAerosolKidFromEP lol but its still conditional .....for "as long as you feed them" and "dont do mean things to them"
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