Clear, ubambiguous communication, clear, unambiguous communication and clear, unambiguous communication.
Playing games of reverse psychology like "I don't want you making a massive fuss for my 30th birthday" screams of immaturity and lack of self belief. For me, it's a greased fast-track to disappointment, resentfulness, and worse: because it degrades the message to men that no means no.
Only once we've got that established, can we consider to considering further needs along this path.
@Philth I left my last partner on the day before my 50th birthday. She was never going to give a flying fuck about me turning 50 anyway as the relationship had been self-destructing for over a year before that. ;-) Do birthdays have to be celebrated as part of love? curious.
@zonavar68 no hard and fast rule. If birthdays are your big thing, then yes (obviously). If like many, birthdays are best kept low-key, then respect that too. My ex clearly stated "I don't want you making a massive fuss for my 30th" which I now understand is very common ladyspeak for "I want you to make a massive fuss..." Sorry, but I'm not capable of that level of decoding and I try to treat my partners as adults, not children who don't know their own mind. Say what you mean.
ummm, I don't really understand love languages since I don't really understand love (from an adult sex/romance/intimacy perspective) in the first place but I did a survey some time back for shits and giggles...
@Mimi2loves1her I guess for me touch isn't top because I'm scared of intimacy and time doesn't require intimate physical connection per-se, so it's probably the easier of the categories to feel comfortable and confident about.
Side question - how does a person come to understand what 'love languages' are and does it matter if there are categories or not? Isn't love just meant to be love - not something defined by 'textbooking'?
