I just wanna love tbh. I just wanna make love.

I’m tired of society and expectations. The brutal dishonesty and stupid games. Manipulation and fear. Arguing over opinions and never knowing the facts. Never trying to understand.

I just want that one guy that sees me deeply and would never hurt me on purpose. One man with a big heart that will let me love him and give to him safely. Let me love him fully. Stay in bed all day pleasing each other. I have so much. I built a whole life from ashes. A beautiful life. People think I’m a pessimist but then why would I continue to hope, to grow and build and become a better human, better Mom and better lover. When will someone truly see me?

And yes, I love myself, to those who don’t know me or what I’ve been through. I put in the work on myself.

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Dainbramadge · 56-60, M

It always happens when you least expect it.
That's what happened when I met my , now ex, wife.
I had just suffered another failed attempt at a long term relationship.
I was about 34 and finally decided that my long time dream of ever having children of my own to raise like I wished I had been raised was gone.
About two days after that a buddy of mine asked me to go to a band audition with him.
We walked into the room and BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shit you not it was maddening love the second her eyes met mine. Well for me.
I moved heaven and earth to get into a position to have her in a circle that I was also included in.
Never chased a woman like that in my whole life.
I manipulated people and joined a band I didn't need another of just to be in her presence.
It took me about three months to finally twist and turn time and space so I had a chance to get to know her.
Well anyway I got my kids finally.
But what I was attempting to show was it happens when your not looking for it to.
Maybe try to relax. Take some guitar lessons.
Distract yourself from the constant reminder that you are not where you want to be at this moment.
Maybe it will happen for you like it did for me.

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BrokenAbyss

@Dainbramadge Nah, just a man that pretended for a long time that he was a caring person, then he got drunk, shared his dick pics and I guess was embarrassed so he started being a super jerk to me.

Dainbramadge · 56-60, M

@BrokenAbyss OMG!!!!!
People are some strange critters at times.
Was he embarrassed because he shared or because of what he shared? LOL
Wait... that didn't sound right.
But I already wrote it and LOL'ed it so guess that's a done deal. :-)

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TallMtnMedic · M

I get it, society is a pain in the ass. Once we accept that its easier. At some point we would think that some grow out of dishonesty and head games, but we know better, some just cannot get away from it - they refuse to grow up.

There is that one person that sees you, really sees you deeply, if he hasnt been near you yet, he will be. I tell myself that too, its easy to say it about women too, but damn its so hard sometimes.

Building a foundation, a solid one, and building a life from there, thats a great goal. It can be achieved, will be...

Peope think im sarcastic bc i enjoy it, it's actually a defense mechanism for me. Every so often - rarely - some soul takes the time to peel it back, i miss that.

You're an amazing person, you will get what you want and he will be so much more as he will gaze at you knowing you are so much more that he hoped for.

BrokenAbyss

@TallMtnMedic it makes me hysterical. I can only laugh when I start to cry at how I’ve done so well on my own, but I’m nothing in this society. Nothing to anyone except my son and that’s hard to sit with sometimes. I’ll never give up on love, I can’t, it just hurts rn to be nothing.

TallMtnMedic · M

@BrokenAbyss I think you mean more to others than you know. We're always hardest in ourselves.

But you have your son. I was a single father of two sons. Social life? Nope. I was lonely, its a serious pain. Then i was stationed overseas away from them. Dispair was a thing.

Miram · 31-35, F

People think you are a pessimist? You're no pessimist based on what I know of you so far. It is your fire for life that makes them burn.

BrokenAbyss

@Miram Thank you 🫂

I’m not afraid to face my shadows. I’m in-tune with my dark side and it’s deep so I’m not as inclined to over positivity because it feels off balance. I suppose that looks pessimistic. I don’t know how people form opinions without talking to me, or knowing me, that would take time. You know how impatient people fill in the gaps with their own assumptions and insecurities before they’ve even listened? I feel trapped in their opinions. I can’t budge them. It’s not how I feel about myself at all. I feel full of love ❤️ I know that scares people. Just want one person to see me. Just one ❤️

Tiredish · F

Making love is elusive, sex is a great release, but its a temporary one.

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Tiredish · F

@BrokenAbyss Not all guys are like that, some women are also.

Yeah, id rather date my hand that those folks.

Video is great too, but still miss a proper partner

BrokenAbyss

@Tiredish I’ll wait.

Being slutty is fun, but not without trust.

Tiredish · F

@BrokenAbyss Slut is a superpower! Be super slut!

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