I feel like I am owed

and I can't shake the feeling.
I feel like the universe owes me big time. and i just feel ignored
and I feel like things shouldn't be this way.
that everything we are living right now is a waste of energy that will come to nothing.

I don't think God can see us.
and we don't matter because "it's not about us". Our small little lives aren't the big picture, so nobody is really watching
Don't ask me what the big picuture is...I don't think I have a ticket to that particular theatre

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Morvoren · F

Why are you owed? What’s special about you?

Vengabus · 36-40

What isn’t special about me? Or you? Or anyone??????
You think you should be left to suffer? Or given nothing? You think you deserve no attention?
I’m past that stage in my life where people tell themselves it’s wrong to want things for themselves. I want Gods attention. And If there’s beauty out there, then I want it in my life. If there’s wealth and wonder and opportunity and real actual, deep and forever, brilliant and perfect LOVE then I want it and I want it now. @Morvoren

Morvoren · F

@Vengabus And what are you doing about it?

Vengabus · 36-40

I’m doing everything I can do. @Morvoren

Morvoren · F

@Vengabus such as?

Vengabus · 36-40

Tell you what? I’ll write a book. And it’ll have to have sequels. @Morvoren

Morvoren · F

@Vengabus You sounded like you to talk about, but I guess not

Vengabus · 36-40

It’s too much of an open ended question.I can’t write about my whole life rn. I just need this never ending lesson to be over. Bc that’s what life feels like…
It’s like there’s no end state. It just keeps going, and revealing more and more pain and disappointment. @Morvoren