I am not sad that I will leave this life in singularity.

Maybe just a bit disappointed that I couldn't explore myself and someone else so intimately. I had a lot to offer.

I am fortunate enough to have an incredible child. We have been through a lot. I have been through and achieved so much, alone. I couldn't find anyone who wanted to grow with us, and at this point, I'm unwilling to give myself to anyone who isn't as strong as I am. Among other oddities about me, I can't fathom a match. At least not an available one, much less one that even knows I exist.

Not that I deserve love more than anyone else. I just know what I'm capable of creating, and it would of been a really beautiful life.

Thing about me is, I'll make anything beautiful. It's not delusional, it's real. You really can find beauty in anything. Including pain, chaos, death. I know from experience, the potential that hides in the shadows.

I can accept my place in the background and still do something extraordinary. Love will always be at the core 🖤

My only fear is that my child will be left alone too. That is why I must find us a community. I must find a way for my kiddo to not live in pain. Over and over life has taken from us. And I didn't always handle it well. I needed help but I learned to survive without it.

And I still found the beauty. I wish that spark to pass on to my child. I have tried. I will try to the end. I will do my absolute best.