Stressed out

I'm scared, really, really scared. Scared of becoming a bad person, scared of losing my little amount of friends, scared of dissappointing someone, scared of how i feel. Everyone says they care but they never hear me when i speak. They just say its because my friends have issues with their family and i wanna fit in.

Why can't someone see me for me? I'm tired of pretending I'm some perfect goody two shoes. I was SAd at 7, Again at 9, but nobody knows that. Why? Because nobody listens to me, ever. I feel muted by the world, I'm scared of interacting with others, i panic so easy, i can't sleep until i know everyone else in the house is asleep, and they all say im lying or faking it. Because i used to be social, i just..
I just want someone to hear that I'm not faking. I have to hide everything, i can't keep doing this. I'm a fake, I'm not me, I'm what they want me to be.

I just wish somebody would actually care about what I have to say, not what someone else does. Maybe I'm being stupid or selfish, I'm really not sure why I'm writing this, just wanted it off my chest.

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viruz · 18-21, F

Im going to be honest, in my opinion its really useless trying to speak to the world and people when they just ignore you like you don't exist, sometimes its better keeping everything to yourself or perhaps a journal to express yourself. Its better being alone and no one to talk to because even if there are people around they would never hear you out. Some people just care less about some people yk

writhe · 26-30, F

You know what, don't listen to them either. You don't need to deal with others' problems on top of yours. Prioritize yourself a bit. Give chances to new people but don't betray yourself. They say you're fake but aren't interested in your real experiences, so tell them they can choose to listen or take the faking. Nobody wants to see you rebel because they're comfortable with your discomfort. I think it's time you make things equal.

Hikaru · F

@writhe I really wish i had this level of self confidence, its been a struggle to even work up the courage to talk online about it. I'm a minor aswell, so at the end of the day I'm stuck hearing about it forever even when i go home.. I have been trying to prioritize myself but its hard seeing as i had to be even my own mothers therapist syarting at 8.

writhe · 26-30, F

@Hikaru I understand. I wish I could help more but maybe talking about it online can relieve you a little bit.

cyberdude28 · 31-35, M

"I just wish somebody would actually care about what I have to say, not what someone else does."

I'm having trouble understanding this sentence here, could you help to clarify it for me?

Hikaru · F

@cyberdude28 everyone ignores my statements and goes and listens to my mom or my siblings, its honestly frustrating

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